Random invites aside, keep in mind it's a two way street. You need them to help you get through the content and they need you to be focused and competent.
I'm hearing a lot of "messing around" terminology which rubs me the wrong way. Screwing up is one thing cause you're learning. Messing around seems purposeful and is just extremely inconsiderate to the people actually trying to progress through the content; whether they're experienced or trying to learn. Remember, these experienced players are doing you a favor; you need them far more then they need you. Go in and make a strong impression of skill and competence and you'll see friend invites come your way as well as have your friend requests get accepted.
Being a raid virgin is not an excuse for not doing your homework. I'm not talking about gear as much as going in and saying "I don't know anything about these fights".... That's just sheer laziness. Being familiar with the mechanics minimally makes you aware of what's going to happen and the general tactics you need to use.
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yes, but why? part of the raid's fun was discovering it, and how to do it, now it's turned into something that needs required home work and watching vids?? i'd rather discover it with like minded guardians or have a nice helpful guardian guide us into understanding. i've always hated this online raid culture plaguing mmo's, you either need to memorize pre-made how to vids or gtfo basically :( which made me realize; i'm all for the Aetheon warp change, let everyone remember what made the boss fight interesting to begin with.
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But that's the thing... You know it's coming, hence you've done some homework on the fight even if it's not much. If you want to go in blind, that's fine, but I think it's a bit asinine to complain for help and ante up nothing more than your presence in return.