Bane and CIA have a homoerotic conversation about how Bane is a big guy. Bane kills CIA. Batman is crippled and Two Face is a hero. Bane and his hired guns show up and start causin' trouble in Batman's neighbourhood. Batman fights Bane, Alfred cries. Bane breaks Batman's back and throws him in some middle eastern jail. Bane also secures a nuke. Gotham falls into anarchy when the deceased Two Face is revealed to the public as being a villain. Scarecrow becomes the judge of everything and sentences people to death by gunshot or death by ice. Batman trains and escapes the pit so he can return to Gotham. Batman fights Bane again. Batman wins by punching Bane's metal mask. The first love interest turns out to be a villain and betrays Batman. The second love interest shows up to save Batman with a bike cannon and kills Bane. Batman saves Gotham from nuke by apparently sacrificing himself. Alfred cries some more. Batman and Alfred meet again in a little Cafe in Paris or some shit and Bane and CIA are reunited in the afterlife.