Bearded Tom cruise goes to Japan. Bearded Tom cruise trains soldiers. Soldier have to fight. Not prepared. Massacre ensues. Bearded Tom cruise kill an armored man. Bearded Tom cruise taken prisoner. Stockholm syndrome ensues. Bearded Tom cruise joins captors side . Gets a fatties to take pics of the captors. Everyone gets shot by a pew pew gun. Much death. Many sad. Bearded Tom cruise survives again.. Bearded Tom cruise becomes the last Japanese warrior... Credits roll...