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China" Imagine a .5 x 1 percent meter box. Squeeze three people in there. That is what living in China is like. Now imagine the boxes are on shelves. The first shelf is the common man where people share rooms with 2 other people in 1 cubic meter rooms. Roughly 100% of the people in China would be in the first shelf. The second shelf is for the exceptionally rich. As in Billionaire Gates levels of rich. On This shelf billionaires share 2 square meter rooms with 1 other person. Now on the top shelf is for government workers. These workers get their own box alone, but how big is it? Well, if one Chinese man had 1/3 cubic meter of space, then a government worker would have a space about as big as all the boxes that the common man have combined. The Currency exchange in China is a bit unusual. The conversion isn't by multiplication, but rather by subtraction. For example, if you had $2,000,000,000 dollars in America, then you would have $2 in China because the Chinese government would take the rest away from you to help pay off America's debt to China. China's population is also counted differently. In china, since their Census is skewed, dead people are included in the population. This is also in the space taking. If your roommate dies, you can't get a new roommate. You have to share your room with their corpse until it decomposes. And if you try to move their body, you will be accused of murder and be publicly executed. China's work force consists of everybody and minimum wage ($0 for normal people, $6.2 x 10^21 for Government workers) is heavily enforced. All Chinese people must work 12 hours shifts every day, on weekends, on holidays, 365 days a year with an 8 hour shift on leap days, sick days don't exist unless you are sick enough to go to the hospital and even then you have to make up for the time you lost with 168 hour straight shifts. You can get free days though from; -One free day for getting a new job -One free day when you move apartments -One free day if your boss commends you (extremely rare in China) -One free day when you move to China -One free day every 10 birthdays you have (if you're born on a leap day THATS YOUR BIRTHDAY. APRIL 1st DOESN'T COUNT) -One free day if a roommate move away/dies -One free day for turning in a criminal (must be spent watching their public execution) -One free day for every 10,000,000 meters walked to work (To work only, going home doesn't count. Taking a different route doesn't count, and if you diverge from your path by more than 100 meters than normal your distance count is reset) -One free day for losing a limb (must've been during work. Other wise it's -1 free days) -One free day if a member of your direct family dies (public executions don't count) -One free day for each child born in your direct family (boys only. Girls is -1) -One free day can be bought for $100 (This sounds tempting, but in China you're rich if you make that much in 10 lifetimes) -TWO free days for every FULL-BLOODED Japanese man killed (three if by sword, but if it's you're sword then you will be publicly executed for owning a sword because there is no right to bear arms in China) -Two free days for being promoted (good luck with that) -Three free days for saving a Chinese mans life (-5 if they're not Chinese. If they're Japanese you will be publicly executed.) -Ten free days for pleasing the chairman -Unlimited free days if you are a government worker All Chinese children must begin school at age 6 on their birthday. School is year round. All children must begin work at age 16 no more than ten days after their birthday. Chinese children get out of school at age 18 on their birthday. Missing a day of work means public execution. No warnings, no strikes, no exceptions (unless you have enough money to buy a free day or work for the government) You can never retire. In China, there is no right to life. That means that a Chinese soldier / government worker can come up to you and kill you if they feel like it, and that is completely legal. If your distant family tries to sue them, they will lose and be counter sued, and if that happens, expect to be randomly killed soon. The Chinese bill of rights, called the "Chinese Rights and Bestowments" (CRAB's) reads- **All of these rules do not apply to government workers 1. All Chinese people have the right to work 2. All Chinese people have the right to talk appropriately. **Failure to do so will result in public execution 3. All Chinese people shall be given home, food, water and proper shelter as long as they work. **Failure to work will result in public execution 4. All Chinese people may report to hospitals if sickened with a deadly disease. 5. All Chinese people may eat whatever they want 6. All Chinese people have the right to smell, hear, taste, and feel whatever they want as long as they control their reactions. 7. **No Chinese person is ever permitted to threaten or attack another Chinese person. 8. But all Chinese people are encouraged to be hostile to Japanese people 9. **The previous eight right are all the rights. If we missed something, you probably don't have it as a right 10. Government workers can do whatever they want 11. THIS LIST IS GOD Chinese jobs are appointed to them when they turn 16. When a Chinese person turns 16 they must go up to city hall and request a job. There a government worker will either 1. Kill them 2. Give them a randomly selected job These jobs can literally be anything from deep sea diving to airplane building and they all pay the same. Jobs are not required to be possible. If your job is to talk to caterpillars and you can't do it, you will be publicly executed (Government workers a lot of times will give those kinds of jobs to people just to screw with them) China's military system is the greatest in the world. If China goes to war, all people over the age of 16 must enlist in the army regardless of age, health, gender, complications or whatever. This is why sometimes China's army can consist of over 600,000,000 Chinese people. As it is commonly known, China has nuclear weapons. But their nuclear missiles function differently than most others. Since China doesn't know how to make a missile target, they put soldiers in cockpits at the front of the nuke so that a Chinese pilot can fly the nuke into the target in a Kamikaze fashion. You might be asking why a Chinese person would kamikaze, but it's because when they select pilots for the nukes, they say if they don't fly the nuke they will be quartered slowly. And I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure being killed by a nuke is much faster death than that. China's Space Program is a lot like the one from Kerbel Space Program. Their space program, inconspicuously called NAASA (Not An American Space Association) rules over all would be astronauts with a Kevlar fist. When Chinese babies are born in hospitals, they have self destruct chips implanted into their brains. They can only be activated by the Government or NAASA are used for two reasons 1. Kamikaze 2. If NAASA deems you (more like damns you) a danger to the mission they will euthanize you Hopefully nobody figures out how to hack them NAASA's mission control really likes screwing with Chinese people. A few of their actions are - Flying a rocket directly into mission control tower - Blowing up all the engines on a rocket because they deemed it too ugly (people were inside) - Building an airplane out of steel beams then putting people on top of it then flying it into the ocean - Building a giant solar panel and throwing it into the ocean with a person on top of it - Launching a one manned mission to the moon. When the one astronaut got off, another mission was sent to the moon to rescue him. Mission control kicked one of the astronauts off of the rocket to make room for the one on the moon. - Locking two Chinese people inside a space station then leaving them to starve - Sending a Chinese girl to do a space jump without a parachute or training - Drowning people after they returned to Earth in fear of backwards contamination

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