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originally posted in:Dads of Destiny
12/5/2014 12:19:34 AM
7
I can't be the only one.
Okay, so me and my wife only have one kid. I would like another, but she doesnt. She does not want to go through the infant stage all over again, even though I did most of the work.
The real problem is our families keep pressuring us for another kid. Her parents want more grandkids and so does my mom. My dad seems to understand and says to "keep practicing on making another".
It does not help that we both have siblings that seem like lost causes. My brothers don't really want to grow up and move on from their high school lives (33 and 28 still living at home with mom and smoking pot with their friends). Her brother doesn't know what he wants with his life, and her sisters have no desire of of dating at all.
I just can't be the only dad pressured with having more kids with a wife that doesn't want to.
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How old is your kid? My wife didn't want another one until my first was 3 yrs old and she forgot the pain she had to go thru. It also helps when they smile and start doing and saying cute things!
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4 RepliesWe have two boys...its not my call but i think two is a good number.... they can "entertain" each other and when they are small it allows you to play "man to man" coverage not this zone defence bullsh@t you gotta use when you have 3 or 4 kids....just my opinion
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I have 2, and they r less then 2 years between them. As I tell everyone birth control don't work all the time. I love my kids, but if I have to go threw 9 more months of my wife bitching I might jump off somthing. She's pressing me to have more kids, and complaining about how we don't have us time. I don't know if I'm coming or going somtimes, but I tell my wife how I feel and it might not be what she wants to hear but if your honest she can respect that.
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It gets worse if you're trying & still not having success...when we were trying for our first, we didn't tell anyone, but my mom was pushing on us so hard to have kids that I finally had to tell my dad that if she didn't lay off, she wasn't going to hear anything from us on anything. She got the message, & all I had to do after that was give her the look when she started in, & she clammed right up. Three kids later, we've both decided it's someone else's turn to pump out grandbabies...
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I have 4 kids. Been trying to shove them back in for years. No Go! Gotta keep em. My only escape is my ps4 and my headset. 2 kids is a safe number. Any more and you might as well hit yourself in the face with a hammer. Everyday... In a cabin.. In Gatlinburg.. ALOT!!
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Of course you aren't alone, we all have different pressures coming from different places, but pressure can't be a reason to have another child - it's a decision that only you two can make, and you must make it together. Be firm with your parents and other sources of pressure and be honest with them - it's not their decision to make and there are ways to let them know that without being disrespectful. Be supportive of your wife's feelings but talk it through - this is too big a topic to leave anything unsaid and could lead to huge resentment further down the line; leave her in no doubt about how much you want a bigger family. In my experience, people rarely ever seem to regret having children - love comes instinctively. Keep showing her what an amazing dad you are and you might just win her around.
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Don't let your family pressure you into more kids. They had/have/will have the chance to have as many kids as they want. This is yours and your wife's decision.
