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Destiny

Discuss all things Destiny.
Edited by Tolus Dimethios: 12/6/2014 10:41:39 AM
1

Perspective...?

[b]Bank loan officer[/b]: Hello Mr. Dimethios. Have a seat. We have all the forms here for your mortgage ready to go we just need to cover a few anomalies. [b]Me[/b]: Ok, go ahead. What issues are there? [b]Bank loan officer[/b]: Well, your credit history looks good and we have your down payment here. Employment history is strong and it looks like you have a good amount of collateral here in physical assets, investment portfolios and other properties. [b]Me[/b]: Oh good. So what is it that you're concerned about? [b]Bank loan officer[/b]: Well, frankly sir, it's your gamer street cred. [b]Me[/b]: Gamer street cred? Is that a thing? [b]Bank loan officer[/b]: Uh, yeah. Duh. It's totally a thing sir. And yours sucks a whole bag of cocks. [b]Me[/b]: What? How? I've been playing video games for 30 years? [b]Bank loan officer[/b]: Well yeah but it says here that you play a Hunter. What are you ghey? [b]Me[/b]: What? No... I just liked the concept and the art. Like a rogue sniper kind of thing. [b]Bank loan officer[/b]: Right right... And you're only level 27 I see. Never done the raid. No mic. Only two legendary weapons... The list goes on here... [b]Me[/b]: Well yeah those things are true but I want to buy a house. How is this related? [b]Bank loan officer[/b]: I'll tell you how. How did you get those legendary weapons sir? And your exotic gauntlets? How bout those. [b]Me[/b]: I got the legendaries from Tiger strikes and the exotic came from Xur. Is that bad in some way? [b]Bank loan officer[/b]: Welfare sir. I think you meant to say that you've been on welfare. Even though in your application you claim to be a "business owner" with "substantial savings" and a "strong net worth". Yet here we see that you're clearly on welfare. [b]Me[/b]: What? [b]Bank loan officer[/b]: I'll cut to the chase Mr. Dimethios. You didn't earn your gear. You're not even a 30; hell you're a fake 27 for God's sake. How am I supposed to trust that you actually earned any of these other indicators of your value? Your college degrees for example. Did you trade motes for those or just get them for dying 27 times in control? [b]Me[/b]: I'm very confused sir. [b]Bank loan officer[/b]: Well let me help you. Delete your Hunter. Get a mic. Make a Titan like a man and run the raid until your gear is so good that it makes your marginal skill seem impressive. Then come see us about a home loan.

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