originally posted in:Thorny Guardians
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[b]Scene:[/b] Shores of Time, Crucible. 6v6. Control. Three British Hunters enter the crucible in a fireteam.
[i]Control. Bravo Team. Only one path to victory, guardians! Capture the zones! Destroy your enemies![/i]
[b]James:[/b] This is it, thats the spot over there by the waterfall.
[b]Dave:[/b] Its not too bad is it? I'll get the hamper.
[i]Enemy captured zone A.[/i]
[b]Gary:[/b] Meh, I don't really like it here. Its a bit too jungle-y
[b]James:[/b] There's just no pleasing you is there, Gary?
[i]You captured Zone B.[/i]
[b]Gary:[/b] I like the cold me. The moon is alright.
[i]Zone C secure.[/i]
[b]Dave:[/b] Well, what more do you want? Here we've got the shade, a lovely view of the Shores of Time. A nice waterfall -
[b]Gary:[/b] They had nice Waterfalls over by the Ishtar Sink. Much better for a picnic. Why couldn't we 'ave gone over there then?
[i]Gained the lead.[/i]
[b]James:[/b] Oh, leave it out will ya? Dave, why'd you have to go and set 'im off? Now he'll never shut up.
[b]Gary:[/b] You shut up. 'ere, gimmie one of them sandwiches will ya?
[b]James:[/b] You sure mate? I thought you didn't like ham sandwiches.
[i]Zone C lost.[/i]
[b]Gary:[/b] I can do 'am, its egg that doesn't agree with me.
[b]Dave:[/b] I'll eat anything. I'm not fussed.
[i]Enemy captured Zone C.[/i]
[b]James:[/b] And its showing mate!
*James points to Dave's flabby belly*
When's the last time you did any exercise?
[b]Dave:[/b] When I was on top of your mom mate!
*Laughter*
[i]Zone A neutralized.[/i]
[b]Gary:[/b] I suppose its not too bad out over here. Could do with a beer though.
[i]Zone A captured, its yours![/i]
[b]James:[/b] 'ang on let me check my inventory. (Uses Beer. Beer on cooldown 4:59 seconds)
[b]Gary:[/b] Let's 'ave a bit.
[b]Dave:[/b] Giz it 'ere!
[i]Zone B lost.[/i]
[b]Gary:[/b] You can't 'ave none, mate. Your flying the toaster bus back.
[b]Dave:[/b] For -blam!-s sake! Fine. I'll 'ave a proper brew back at 'ome any how.
[i]Enemy captured Zone B.[/i]
[b]James:[/b] Better take it in to that Amanda bird first. The engine's been making a funny sound.
[i]Lost the lead.[/i]
[b]Dave:[/b] She'll be making a funny sound when I get finished with her...
[i]Heavy Ammo inbound.[/i]
[b]James:[/b] Get your mind out of the gutter will ya? You're old enough to be her dad!
[i]Heavy Ammo available.[/i]
[b]Dave:[/b] Oh spare me! There's wot? 6 years between us? Come on you know shes fit!
[b]James:[/b] Shes alright.
[b]Gary:[/b] I'd do her.
[b]James:[/b] The Queen is more my cup of tea.
[i]Zone A Lost.[/i]
[b]Dave:[/b] Suit yourself, mate. I'm not really into the foreign birds.
[b]James:[/b] Yeah coz you're just a closed-minded bigot thats why.
[b]Dave:[/b] Nah, just not my fing. Its like the old saying ain't it? One mans meat is another mans poison. One mans trash is another mans treasure. You can 'ave her mate, I'm not stoppin' ya.
[i]Enemy captured Zone A. Enemy controls all zones. *Alarm rings*[/i]
[b]Gary:[/b] If he can get passed her brother that is. Something's not right with him.
[b]James:[/b] He's a pussy. Hides behind his sister and them Vandals. Couldn't fight me Hunter to Hunter now could he?
[i]Prove your worth guardian![/i]
[b]Dave:[/b] Wasn't it you that got taken out by a Dreg in the Nightfall Strike the other day?
[b]James:[/b] Didn't 'ave me special helmet on did I? And that don't even count. Lightswitch was on.
[i]You're here to fight guardian. So fight![/i]
[b]Dave:[/b] You didn't see one of us getting stabbed by a Dreg now did ya?
[b]James:[/b] Whatever mate . We'll 'ave to start heading back soon, before its late. The missus will be wondering where I am.
[b]Gary:[/b] 'ang on a minute, I'm stuffed me. Let's just stay for a bit longer.
[b]Dave:[/b] Suns going down though. I don't like flying in the dark.
[b]James:[/b] Yeah we should probably go now. You know what he's like. Don't want any accidents now do we?
[b]Dave:[/b] Give us a hand with these bits will ya? Don't fancy getting fined for littering the planet.
[i]Stand tall guardian. This battle is lost. There will be others.[/i]
[b]Gary:[/b] Ay who's that, keeps going on about all these Zones?
[b]James:[/b] I dunno. Probably that Ghost of yours. That fing 'as a mind of its own.
[b]Dave:[/b] -blam!-ing Ghost. Needs shooting.
[b][u]Activity rewards[/u][/b]
[spoiler][b][u]James[/u][/b] [b]Kills: [/b]0 [b]Assists: [/b]0 [b]K/D Ratio: [/b]0.6 [b]Rewards:[/b] Gjallarhorn
[b][u]Gary[/u][/b] [b]Kills: [/b]0 [b]Assists:[/b] 1 [b]K/D Ratio:[/b] 0.3 [b]Rewards: [/b]Suros Regime
[b][u]Dave[/u][/b] [b]Kills:[/b] 0 [b]Assists:[/b] 0 [b]K/D Ratio:[/b] 0.27 [b]Rewards: [/b]The Last Word
[b]Gary:[/b] So whats this yellow thingmabob?
[b]James:[/b] Oh I've 'eard of these before. Looks like we've got a couple of them exotics. I think you got a really good one.
[b]Gary:[/b] Nice. I'll be taking it into work then when we get off our holidays.
[b]Dave:[/b] I got anova hand cannon. I hate 'and cannons. Sharding mine.
[/spoiler]
Want moar?
[spoiler]If you have enjoyed this please consider viewing [url=http://www.bungie.net/en/Clan/Post/11690/83193115/0/0/1]my post in the Writer's Corner[/url], where I now place all of my works.[/spoiler]
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This was too funny, great job! Bump!