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#jokes

Edited by Mike Lawrence: 2/5/2016 8:34:57 PM
105

So just how stupid are the Fallen?

Just how stupid are the Fallen? Has anyone noticed they are less like an invading army and more like well armed, nomadic, hobos? They are always just standing around some random and mostly unimportant places. Why? Are they protecting something? What are they protecting? Why aren’t they patrolling? They don’t even seem to have a camp. You know something like a bunch of logs around a fire with Vandals roasting stray cats or whatever the hell they eat. They might have like a tent or something too. They just seem to stand around day and night until you come by and pop their heads from 100+ yards. They should be getting very tired standing around that long. I knew a guy who passed out standing in one place too long. That kind of stuff is fairly common among humans. Real armies for over a thousand years have had camps or forts or bases where most of the soldiers hang out waiting for the rapidly moving excrement to collide with the overhead air circulation system. At that point they roll out in force (large numbers) and take the fight to the enemy. Kill a group of these guys and within a minute or so a ship will drop off a new group that look exactly the same down to the individual. How many guys do they need to lose before someone says “Ok, that place is dangerous. Seriously guys, we’ve lost over 20,934 of our men-like-somethings there in the last month. let’s create an ambush, maybe stand in a different place. Send a tank and some reinforcements or don’t send anyone back there. ” They must have brought one hell of a fleet to supply that many disposable bullet catchers. In the first mission they seemed really smart because they have trip mines (instead of disposable guards) and they shoot flares to call in reinforcements. I’m pretty sure that during the first mission you shoot all of the mildly intelligent ones. I write “mildly intelligent” because even these geniuses get caught up in their own trip mines. I read somewhere that the ones with only two arms left (dregs) are criminals of some sort. If that is true why is a race capable of interstellar travel conscripting criminals to serve in the regular army and giving them guns. That’s not professional or smart! They don’t even seem well trained ‘cause when they see me running at them from a quarter mile out they run and hide. Why are they missing arms? Was that some kind of punishment? I got thinking may be they weren’t criminals but children. So perhaps they are using children as their shock troops. If so I doubt they will make it to Destiny 2. Sending children to die on the front Stalingrad style isn’t a recipe for a robust population. Either way “the Fallen” sounds a lot more like a description of their collective Intelligence Quotient over the years than any sort of behavioral/moral issues. Am I alone in noticing this? [b]Hear the official audio version here http://www.halcyoncollective.com/audio/Just-How-Stupid-are-the-Fallen.aiff [/b] [b]TSCIGAR[/b] provided this amazing [url=https://www.evernote.com/shard/s263/sh/6621c114-7e0f-43a6-9a21-e8bcf068e16c/6ce3299adeed8b27896dfff938fb69cdt]audio interpretation [/url] of the Vex essay as an AMR in Evernote. [b]crapshot120[/b] was nice enough to do two readings for us the [url=http://youtu.be/SuW6IXd6NRs]Cabal[/url] and the [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2nXgFNEzeU&feature=youtu.be]Vanguard[/url] Here are the links to my other posts in this series celebrating Destiny: [url=http://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/73500195/0/0]Just how stupid are the Cabal?[/url] [url=http://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/72863545/0/0]Just how stupid are the Vex?[/url] [url=http://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/74054287/0/0]Just how stupid are the Vanguard?[/url] [url=http://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/74602574/0/0]Just how stupid are the Hive?[/url] [b]Final note:[/b] Ok, people have been asking me for an audio version of this. I'm going to propose this instead. Anyone who reads this and really likes it pay me back by recording yourself or someone else reading the whole thing or a part of it. Post your link in this thread so we can all appreciate your work.

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