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Edited by FreezeTheLegend: 1/11/2015 1:39:59 AM
181

How you lost your virginity

So tell me the story in detail! (Not extreme detail) how you lost your V-card! Aka virginity aka broken hymen aka no more blue balls. Edit: guys I get it saying "sex" and trying to be a smartass is so wild,rebellious, and oh so clever but c'mon stfu. Edit: some really interesting ways you guys lost your virginity also some surprisingly young ages when losing it and also just some bull shit stories keep em coming! Edit: anymore super original shrek stories? No? Okay Kool. [spoiler] me 17 her 19 her house her room bada Bing bada boom[/spoiler] [spoiler]on second thought in extreme detail heh[/spoiler]

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  • > I was only nine years old >I loved Shrek so much, I owned all the movies and merchandise >I pray to Shrek every night, thanking him for the life I have been given >"Shrek is love", I say, "Shrek is life" >My dad hears me and calls me a -blam!- > He is obviously jealous of my devotion to Shrek >I called him a -blam!- > He slaps me and sends me to my room > I am crying now, because my face hurts > I go into my bed and it is very cold >I feel a warmth moving towards me > I fell something touch me > It's Shrek > I am so happy > he whispers into my ear, "This is my swamp" > He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands and puts me on my hands and knees > I'm ready > I spread my ass cheeks for Shrek > He penetrates my butthole > It hurts so much, but I do it for Shrek > I can feel my anus tearing as my eyes start to water > I push against his force > I want to please Shrek > He roars a mighty roar as he fills my butt with his love > My dad walks in > Shrek looks him deep in the eyes and says, "It's all ogre now" > Shrek leaves through my window Shrek is love, Shrek is life

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