Kabr entered the vault prior to the end of our story also you put that the darkness piece draining from the traveller is on Mars but it's on the Moon (the hive used it), the other piece of darkness is in the black garden as you said. You skipped a lot of important stuff about Rasputin in "our story" otherwise great timeline
English
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I will Edit in sections for Rasputin, your ghost mentions specifically that light is returning to The Traveler after the destruction of The Darkness within the Black Garden
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I was talking about the last mission on the moon. If you recall the hive were using a substance that looks very similar to the heart of the black garden to to suck light from a shard of the traveller. Many forget about this mission for some reason
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Edited and added this event to the timeline