What makes you suicidal and why do you want to escape reality? What are the main things that seem to bother you of you don't mind asking? Some things may be helped by seeing a dr and getting on the right meds, no joking either. Was on anti depression pills for awhile and helped a ton. No longer need them once I took a step back and really looked at my life and saw just how blessed I am to have what I do have. My life could have been 50 times worse