Don't try to escape reality. Explore it. There are more things out there that you couldn't imagine. And the drugs...I would quit them as a habit. Drugs are okay sometimes but when its an every day thing it becomes boring and can ruin your life. Try meeting new people. Make it a goal to become their friend. Find new hobby's. Start with music. Explore different types of music until you find the type that makes you happy. Happiness is the key to a long successful life. If your happy then your doing good.