Well I will say it does seem like your are obsessed with her in a way that is unhealthy for you. You need to realize that if she will not date you then that is pretty much it. You could keep trying and she may give in and she may not which could be more likely. There is other women out there that I'm sure you could fall for just the same if you was to look. You could just end up hurting yourself more and the relationship you do have with her if you keep it up. Things could go either way for you and only you can make the final decision. Just try not to keep her on a pedestal as there is many other women out there that are just as good that you could come to love just as much if not more.