I don't mind helping out at all. I'll gladly talk to you but it'll be later. I'm drained from work and fixing to head for bed. It's been a long day. I've read what you mentioned about where you come from and live but brain having problems processing things now from lack of sleep lol. The shrinks can only do so much for you until it is left up to you to do the rest. You may have to make some drastic changes in your life or way you think for you to change and like I said it may not be easy but you have to look at what the reward could be, a happier life with friends and love. It is easy to think you are better than other people cause of where you might come from but it's not that way in life. No one is really better than the other person. We all can fall from grace and become monsters or we can rise up and become good people. Myself I live in what would be considered poverty and I work a low paying job a house keeper that mainly just cleans restrooms which I am content with because it's simple and nothing too complex. It allows me to have time to think and just relax. Everyone walks different paths but we all end up the same place eventually.