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Edited by StudyOfWumbo:
1/11/2015 4:02:15 PM
21
ITT post different versions of the navy seal copypasta
Canadian version
Pardon me, did you just say something to me eh? I'll have you know I graduated at the top of my class in the Canadian Politeness Force, and I've been involved in numerous secret runs to Tim Hortons, and I have over 300 confirmed friends. I am trained in welcoming warfare and am the most passive aggressive member of the entire canadian population. You are a person that I have yet to make friends with. I will talk to you with kindness the likes of which have never been seen before on this earth, mark my passiveness. You think you can get away with not saying thank you? Think again, neighbour. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of syrup drinking penguins across the northern territories and your IP is being traced so you better prepare for the gift baskets, buddy. The gift baskets that not only contain Gift cards, but donuts from tim hortons too. You're gonna be befriended, guy. I can be nice anywhere, anytime, and can be nice to you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just if I write letters. Not only am i extensively trained in passive aggressive combat, but I have access to the entire moose army of the Canadian Maple Leaf Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to welcome your friendly ass right into the neighbourhood. You little neighbourino. If you had only known what friendly retribution your comment was about to bring down, maybe you would have eaten poutine with me. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're gonna let me pay the bill because that's how nice I am, guy. I will put you in the hospital and it will cost nothing cause our healthcare is free. I'll say sorry now, friendo.
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1 ReplyEdited by Revenant: 1/11/2015 6:06:18 PMWhat the -blam!- did you just say about me, you alpha male? I'll have you know I barely graduated at the bottom of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've yet to be involved in a single raid on the United States, and I have under 300 nonconfirmed lives. I am not trained in orangutan warfare and I'm the worst sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are everything to me and not just another target. I will keep you the fuck alive with imprecision the likes of which has been seen over and over again on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? You're right, -blam!-er. As we speak I am failing to contact my public network of spies across the USA and your IP is being hidden right now so you need not prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the glorious, big thing you call your life. You're fucking alive, kid. I can't be anywhere, anytime, and I can save you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I barely trained in unarmed combat, but I have no access to any of the arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I can't use it to an even partial extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little piss. If only you could have known what holy sympathy your big "dumb" comment was about to bring up upon you, maybe you wouldn't have held your fucking tongue. But you could, you did, and now you're receiving the reward, you goddamn genius. I will shit calmness all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking alive, kiddo.
