It sounds like you just need to let go off the past as well as your family. Mistakes happen, it's part of life. We learn from our mistakes so we can carry that experience so we can teach others such as our children, friends, family, whatever. Don't know enough about what you mean you can hear your own thinking voice. Is your mind too clouded with thoughts? If so perhaps take some time out of each day to try to clear your mind of all thoughts for 10 or 30 min just to kinda have some time to breath.