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Edited by BlackjackHD: 1/28/2015 9:42:08 PM
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Terrible Exotics

[i]EDIT: [b]Necrochasm[/b] review in comments![/i] Funny that some of these were released with full confidence after the wave of buffs for the first disappointing batch, and then some came through the buffs, still awful. I get that not everything can be SUROS Regime, Ice Breaker, or Gjallarhorn. Some of these exotics are not even worth your equip slot, let alone your exotic slot, so they definitely need help. I even know how to do so, not that my suggestions will fall on attentive ears... Anyway. [b]Red Death[/b] [u][i]The Problem[/u][/i] Ahh, Red Death. For many Guardians, the first glimpse into the realm of Exotic weaponry. Xur came to town offering this for sale the week of release, and some lucky Guardians already had the funds to purchase one. Back then it stood as the unquestionable king of the pulse rifles, one to be feared in the Crucible. All its wielder needed to do is score one kill to regain health and even reload faster. Single Point Sling, Snapshot, Unflinching, this thing had great perks to squeeze a narrow advantage over contenders in the Crucible. With meticulous aim and expert timing, a skilled Guardian could slay another with just two bursts. And for a moment, it was the best of the worst primary weapon class, and that was good enough for Red Death. Then it was "buffed". And that magical 36(ish) damage-per-bullet was dropped to a laughable 32. That transcendent 2-burst kill became an unforgivable 3. Two perfect bursts would now spit in your face, leaving your would-be victim with a whole 8 HP as he struck you down and sauntered off to safety. [u][i]The Solution[/i][/u] Seriously, just bring its damage back up to 34. This thing wasn't overpowered before and it won't be now. It seemed nice before the Regime rose to power, but now it's a bronze medal-winner on its best days. [b]Universal Remote[/b] [u][i]The Problem[/u][/i] This junker... is a junker. It's awful! It's worse than regular shotguns. On top of its pathetic range, even with Hammer Forged, even with Universal Remote, its Impact is lackluster, reload speed atrocious, and carrying capacity outright pathetic. Its worst offense (so far as PvE content goes), compared to its rival shotguns, is Kinetic damage, or "don't use this weapon if epic or a burn modifier is on" damage. Unusable in PvE and unimpressive in PvP. While blue-tier SUROS shotguns and green Sidewinders can decimate in the Crucible with lucky perks and choke options, the Universal Remote is stuck on the same boring channel. [u][i]The Solution[/u][/i] I have two possible solutions for this: 1) The Universal Remote upgrade makes the weapon fire a single slug while aimed down the sights. (True to the description, range and precision damage would greatly increase.) Ammo carrying capacity increased. 2) Impact, Range, and reload speed increased, Hammer Forged replaced with Shot Package. Ammo carrying capacity increased. Number 1 would be much more fun, to which anyone who's used slug shotguns in Battlefield Bad Company 2 will attest. Number 2 is more feasible as a hotfix or throw-in for a larger patch. It sounds like overkill, but look at the stat block. Try to use it. Even when aiming, you need to shove the barrel down the guy's nose to kill in one shot, the one thing a shotgun is designed to do. More common, easier-to-access shotguns blow it right out of the water and allow the wielder to carry a much more powerful (read: tactically flexible) primary like the Regime or Thorn. So long as legendary, rare, and freakin' [i]common[/i] shotguns can get better perks than the UR can boast, it can't compete. The best needs to be standard for an exotic, if that makes sense. [b]No Land Beyond[/b] [u][i]The Problem[/u][/i] A ha. Ha. Ahahahahaha. Haha. Ha. [u][i]The Solution[/i][/u] More ammo. Speed that ridiculous bolt rack up. A weakling like me can rack a Mk 19 or M2 .50 cal three times in the time it takes this supposed super-soldier to cycle a single rifle round. Get rid of the sway when moving while aiming - other snipers don't sway, why should this one? Get rid of scope glare. There's no scope. Make it handle just like my scout rifle. Buff its impact up. A guardian should barely survive a shot from this at full health in the crucible. At-level Majors should not survive a headshot. This is a [i]primary weapon[/i]. This is a [i]kinetic sniper rifle[/i]. It needs to bring something to the table that Ice Breaker and Black Hammer aren't already. Even with The Master, it cannot compare to virtually any other sniper rifle - the minimal-impact Praedyth's Revenge or Prudence will still get the same one-shot kills as NLB, but kill tougher enemies faster with their exponentially higher fire rates. And like Universal Remote, any other primary is far more tactically flexible and far less likely to run out of ammo. It shouldn't be so clear-cut. [b]The 4th Horseman[/b] [u][i]The Problem[/u][/i] Did you guys forget you made the Invective? Did you forget that we already had a really good automatic exotic shotgun? Why then did you introduce a second one whose exotic effect is a renamed Full Auto? Not only that, but one with less impact, about 1/50th of the range, more than halved reload speed, and all for some stability ([i]oo[/i]OO[i]oo[/i]OO[i]oh[/i]) and one extra round in the magazine? Which doesn't even make [i]sense![/i] It's got four barrels and shoots five times per load? [i]"One, two, seven, potato, four. Yaay!"[/i] [i][u]The Solution[/i][/u] Alright, it's an automatic shotgun. It's automatically (get it?) going to be compared to the Invective and to a lesser extent, Found Verdict. It needs to do something new and different. No, Patrick, being full auto is not an exotic perk. Put that stability to good use and give Thunderer bonus damage on each successive hit. Have it dump its entire magazine in a spectacular alpha strike when aimed. Something! Anything! [i]And for the love of Nathan Fillion, give it some workable effective range.[/i] [b]Hard Light[/b] [u][i]The Problem[/i][/u] Not much of one, honestly. I imagine people are already lighting their torches just for seeing this make the list. Volatile Light is just, well, underwhelming. If you found a For the People with Field Scout and Armor Piercing Rounds you could pretend it's Hard Light. (It might even be better.) [u][i]The Solution[/i][/u] Despite what the stat blocks would suggest. Hard Light also kicks around like a stallion who is also a kickboxer. Worse than Monte Carlo, whose stability meter is suspiciously shorter than HL's. That could use a fix. Then it's a Shingen-style rifle in a literal sea of Shingen-style rifles, as the Shingen itself is yet to go out of style, and we've been greeted with not one, not two, but three new legendary auto rifles with this stat block. Oh, and Monte Carlo. So Volatile Light needs to be better. Overpenetration is good, keep that, keeps the thralls in check. Something simple, though controversial, would be Arc damage. Couldn't ask for more. If it is to remain kinetic, however, ricochet rounds might be better if they ricocheted more than once. Or until they hit something. I realize that may put too much stress on a system, but hey, Borderlands did it. [b]Super Good Advice[/b] [u][i]The Problem[/u][/i] The last weapon I'll be reviewing today, another denizen of the "exotic buffs" which emerged largely unimproved. Its primary issue is that its exotic effect revolves around forgiving poor use rather than incentivizing skillful use. As it stands, you will manage to preserve most of your heavy ammo for your enemy to enjoy once he thwarts you with his Galahad-B and claims it. The stability boost was a buff it deserved, but not the one it needed right now. [u][i]The Solution[/u][/i] You want a hilarious [i]dakka dakka[/i] weapon, as seemed to be the intent? Want something that's fun as hell and makes the player [i]like[/i] using it? Drop the magazine down to 20 or so. Keep its wonky stability. Now reverse how its exotic upgrade works. Rounds that connect are returned to the magazine. Thing just went from "I'll do this bounty for an exotic shard" to "solar nightfall? Better bring SGA". However comma. With its weird recoil and small magazine, those misses will be costly. More accurate MGs and even auto rifles will still be able to beat it in the Crucible, and players would see a hard choice in a potential rampage with the heavy ammo, or a safer bet in an exotic primary and their favorite legendary heavy. I do this for free, folks.

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  • Hehehehehehehehhehehehehhehehhehehehhehehhehehehehheheehehehehehhehehehehhehehheheheheehhehhehhehehehehehhe The Last Word has "Low Impact" Hehehehehehehehhehehehehhehehhehehehhehehhehehehehheheehehehehehhehehehehhehehheheheheehhehhehhehehehehehhe It has the highest by far. Not a troll.

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