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1/14/2015 10:22:46 PM
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I feel ashamed for putting myself on this list but I've had problems for a long time now. If you can call ten years a long time. I'm that fifteen year old kid that's been told on this site that I have amazing grammar. But that's not the point. I don't know what to do with my life. I feel like a failure all the time. I'm starting to get bad grades in school, I have a terrible self esteem issues. I live in a house that's half built (not half a house, but one with almost no siding on it, no shingles, the roof leaks in multiple spots, most of the ceiling on our second floor has no insulation, the walls are starting to crack). I thought we solved my parent's divorce issue but they'll probably actually get divorced soon. All they do is argue and scream and fight. My dad constantly screams at me telling me how stupid I am and that I'm worthless. Or at least, he makes me feel worthless. He screamed at me this morning because I took a ten minute shower. He was home for maybe five. I just hate life. I don't know how to make things better. I've thought about running away but figured he might do something to one of my sisters or maybe my brother if I did. I've had thoughts of killing him. But I haven't done that and I won't. I'm a better person than that. I get aggravated around my dad. There's no way to stay away from him. Everyone's scared of him. Everyone I know. That's just one problem though. *sighs* I've said so many things I've never said before. Of all places I posted this on the internet. This'd be about the time where everyone I know would start telling me to quit being so emo. I don't know what to do. Sorry about the length. Once the writing gets going it just starts flowing.
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