Hello, my name Jonny Reimundsen, also known as "Fat Jonny". This is the story about my life. I was born in a little Barn in the wide fields of Texas, from a Bull, named Jakob. Jakob was my favorite Bull and apparantly my father too. I had a tough life as a Kid. Since Jakob didn't know what kinda animal i am, he through me to the pigs. It was absolutly horrible. So fat disgusting pigs almost smelled as bad as Iggy Azaela's vagina. So i looked ip to those dumb -blam!-'s and said' " how you doin Gayboi?". He replied " shut the -blam!- up you dumb -blam!-ing fgt!" and in this moment i realised i do not belong here. So i travelled out of the pile of shit that they called a house and moved on with my life. At the age of six i was finally going to school. Well thing is i was only theire for 2 years because i ate the teacher cause the food was shit and they didn't really aprecciated that, with calling the police on me. As they were going inside the school and clearing the rooms, i was hiding in a white shelf. As say came into the room they noticed those big shelfs imeaditly. Ofcourse, because they are cops, they shot the black shelf first whith 235 rounds out of their AR's. Then they opened the white shelf. I jumped out and 360 noscoped those bitches with my doritos, that i stole from a girl who i just sexually assaulted. Then i ate their bodies so no one can find'em. I proceeded to escape and finally made it out. With 18 i got my drivers license. The money for that was easy to get since i killed and robbed alot of prostitues. [spoiler]jk i stole it from yah parents[/spoiler] And now i only had one target. Miami. I needed 5 days to figure out how to start the car and 7 more till i got it driving. As i was riding through the coutrie i realised how beatiful the water is. I wanted to be in the water. I WANTED TO BE NORMAL GOD DAMMIT! So i was riding erryday and after 5 years i finally made it to the biggest pile of shit the world has ever seen.AKA as Miami. So i drove to the beach and crawled into the water. My life was complete and i could finally post on bungie.net. This was my Destiny. [quote]6/10: to much water- IGN[/quote] The moral of the story is, a whale has nothing to do in texas. This is the end.