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Edited by Eigerphant:
8/10/2015 4:58:02 PM
1399
Let's hear your best joke
Comment with your best joke!
Edit: Can't believe the amount of jokes there are - it's brilliant, keep them coming
Edit: Jesus that's a lot of jokes
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5 RepliesHow many Jews can you fit in a car? [spoiler]Five in the seats, and millions in the ash tray[/spoiler]
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1 ReplyJewish people living
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I know a good about paranoia but I'm not telling. You filthy thieves will probably steal my joke and use it as your own.
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Two rednecks are drinking on the porch. A dog is licking his own nuts. One redneck says" boy, I wish I could do that" . The other replies " that dog'll bite you..."
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Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? [spoiler]he worked it out with a pencil[/spoiler]
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Did you hear the one about the ninja with good judgement? [spoiler]neither have I [/spoiler] [spoiler]except recon [/spoiler]
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Why did the chicken cross the road?[spoiler]He didn't know either.[/spoiler] Want to hear a construction joke? [spoiler]sorry, I'm still working on it.[/spoiler] It's still too early to be making jokes about [url=http://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godwin%27s_law]-godwinslaw!-[/url] [spoiler]Anne Frankly, WWII in general[/spoiler]
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Knock knock? [spoiler]Ahhahahahahahaha![/spoiler]
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I was reading a book about anti gravity [spoiler]and I couldn't put it down[/spoiler]
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1 ReplyA black guy walks into a bookstore He picks up a book called how to collect welfare check He opens the book to the first page to the step by step list and he reads The first step: Be black The second step: Collect welfare check He looks up and says damn I wish I could read
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I thought of these. Posted in other threads before this but not all together lol. What did Mike Tysons have say about Xur not stocking heavy? This is non synths. Your mom is so fat, that when she uses the rest room your whole team has to wipe. A warlock and his girlfriend are fighting and she says she is breaking up with him. He asks why. Her response was, "you're always leaving me coded messages, and you aren't attractive". She proceeded to tell him he was "cryptic and ineffable".
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3 RepliesWhats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babys [spoiler]i dont have lambo in my garage[/spoiler] How do you get 100 babys into a bowl [spoiler]a blender[/spoiler] How do you get them out [spoiler]tortilla chips[/spoiler]
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I just saw this I laughed so hard my dog ran away
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1 ReplyWhat did the Alabama sheriff say about the black guy who was shot 9 times? [spoiler]Worst case of suicide he had ever seen.[/spoiler]
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Is that Al Pacino?
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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first guy to walk on the moon and... [spoiler]Michael Jackson fuks little boys [/spoiler]
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1 ReplyIf you are easily offended by racist jokes don't click the spoiler. [spoiler]Why doesn't Mexico host the Olympics? Because all the good athletes are on the other side of the fence.[/spoiler]
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2 RepliesEdited by Suck the teabag: 2/11/2015 11:20:47 PMWhats the same between a helicopter and my penis. [spoiler]They both scare off inmates.[/spoiler]
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1 ReplyEdited by OMiNoUsBLue: 4/10/2015 7:16:53 AMA man woke up in a hospital and said, "Doctor, doctor! I can't feel my legs!" The doctor then said, "I know. I amputated your arms" 2 cannibals were eating a clown, one says to the other, "Does this taste funny to you!?" Why is Hellen Keller a bad driver? [spoiler]she's dead[/spoiler] An Irish man walks out of a bar A horse walked into a bar [spoiler]several people got up an left as they spotted the potential danger in the situation[/spoiler] I remember the last words my dad said before he kicked the bucket... [spoiler]"Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"[/spoiler] A man walks into a bar [spoiler]he is an alcoholic and is ruining his family[/spoiler]
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2 RepliesA dyslexic walks into a bra
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4 Repliesa horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks why the long face? the horse unable to speak English shits on the floor then leaves
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2 RepliesWhat is the similarity between a Jew and a stiff nipple? They both disappear after a hot shower. Whats the difference between an apple and a dead baby? I dont ejaculate on my apples before I eat them.
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A man walks into a bar... He then falls on the ground and sobs uncontrollably. He is an alcoholic and his addiction is destroying his family.
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2 RepliesWhat breaks the moment you give it to a six year old? [spoiler]her hips[/spoiler]
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6 RepliesSanta Claus, a poor Mexican and a rich Mexican are sitting around a table with money on it who grabs the cash? [spoiler]the poor Mexican because the other two don't exist[/spoiler]
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5 RepliesEdited by Rampant: 3/5/2015 7:05:39 AMSo I was on this road trip through Texas and we stopped to eat at one of those themed diners. Now this diner had pictures of different cuts of meat all over the walls and ceiling. I eventually called a waitress over out of curiosity. "Ma'am, what's with all the different cuts of meat?" "Oh, that's our theme! You take a dart, throw it, and what you hit is what you get!" She says as she hands me a dart. I take the dart. Eye my choice. Line up the shot. Just as I'm getting ready to throw I sigh and hand her the dart. The stakes are just too high.
