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Edited by Eigerphant:
8/10/2015 4:58:02 PM
1399
Let's hear your best joke
Comment with your best joke!
Edit: Can't believe the amount of jokes there are - it's brilliant, keep them coming
Edit: Jesus that's a lot of jokes
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5 RepliesEdited by Rampant: 3/5/2015 7:05:39 AMSo I was on this road trip through Texas and we stopped to eat at one of those themed diners. Now this diner had pictures of different cuts of meat all over the walls and ceiling. I eventually called a waitress over out of curiosity. "Ma'am, what's with all the different cuts of meat?" "Oh, that's our theme! You take a dart, throw it, and what you hit is what you get!" She says as she hands me a dart. I take the dart. Eye my choice. Line up the shot. Just as I'm getting ready to throw I sigh and hand her the dart. The stakes are just too high.
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How do you drown a hipster? [spoiler]Throw him into the mainstream[/spoiler]
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A blond comes home one day and finds her boyfriend having sex with another girl. Enraged, she runs to the closet were her boyfriend keeps his loaded hand gun. She returns to the room and points the gun to her own head. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Yells her boyfriend. The blond then says "Don't worry, you two are next!" :D
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Roses are red violets are blue go -blam!- yourself
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1 Reply[b]WHAT DO YOU CALL A COW WITH THREE LEGS?[/b] [spoiler][b]LEAN BEEF[/b][/spoiler] [b]WHAT DO YOU CALL A COW WITH NO LEGS?[/b] [spoiler][b]GROUND BEEF[/b][/spoiler] [b]WHAT DO YOU CALL A COW WITH TWO LEGS?[/b] [spoiler][b]YOUR MOM[/b][/spoiler]
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Lebrons that cost 100$
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2 RepliesRoses are red Violets are blue I have a gun So get in the car
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1 ReplyTwo hunters are walking through the woods. Eventually they realize they are lost. The first asks the second what they should do. The second hunter replies : "I heard if you're lost you should fire three shots in the air to signal for help. " So the first hunter fires off three shots and they wait a half hour. No help arrives, so they try again. Another half hour passes, no help. They fire off another three shots. When no help arrives, the first hunter turns to the second and says "we need a new plan. No help is coming, and I'm running out of arrows."
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2 RepliesA boy named Danny comes in and sits at the lunch room table with his friends. His friends notice that he had two black eyes so they ask him how he got them. He said that he was riding the bus and there was a girl with her skirt up the crack of her ass. He said,"I thought I'd do her a favor and pull it out but she hit me in the eye." Dallas friends then ask,"how did you get the other black eye?" ..... "I put it back."
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1 ReplyYour existence. [spoiler]Eh?[/spoiler]
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Santa: What do you want for Christmas little boy? Boy: I don't know, guess. Santa: (taps boy on nose) Do you want t.o.y.s.? Boy: No, guess again. Santa: (taps boy on nose) Do you want c.a.n.d.y.? Boy: Guess again. Santa: I give up, want to do want? Boy: I want p.u.s.s.y., and don't tell me you don't have any because I can smell it on your finger.
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1 ReplyWhy shouldn't you make fun of a fat person? [spoiler]Because they already have enough on their plate.[/spoiler]
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A black man getting a job
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1 ReplyWomen's Rights. [spoiler]kek[/spoiler]
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Edited by Tartan 118: 4/10/2015 3:21:41 PMWhat is a physicist's favourite meal? [spoiler]Fission chips.[/spoiler] [spoiler]Fish and chips is a popular British dish.[/spoiler]
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4 RepliesWhat's forest gumps password [spoiler]1forest1[/spoiler]
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4 RepliesIf life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
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14 RepliesEdited by Mozens: 2/21/2015 11:13:10 AMWhat's the most awful thing in the world? [spoiler]A dead baby[/spoiler] What's worse than that? [spoiler]A pile of 100 dead babies[/spoiler] What's worse than this? [spoiler]There's a live one at the bottom[/spoiler] What's worse? [spoiler]He's eating his way out[/spoiler] What's worse than that? [spoiler]He Reaches the top[/spoiler] What's worse, you ask? [spoiler]He made it to the top[/spoiler] And the worse part? [spoiler]He went back for seconds [/spoiler]
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Here is a joke but before I tell u it u need to do something Go 2 store Buy binoculars Go home Go to bathroom Put on binoculars Look in mirror U found the joke
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Edited by RxKLUTCH: 4/10/2015 12:55:13 PMI don't think my girlfriend likes orgasms. [spoiler]She spits them out every time[/spoiler]
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3 RepliesBuzz was flying Woody because Woody needed to get in the back of a truck. Woody says: "Buzz, we missed the truck!" Buzz says: "We are not heading for the truck" Moments later the Twin Towers came down.
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1 ReplyHow did i get out of Iraq [spoiler]Iran[/spoiler]
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1 ReplyThere was a young man and his friends going to the pub for the night. As they were walking towards the pub; he spots an old man, sitting on a milk crate, with a fishing pole and a line, cast into a puddle in the bitumen. The young man feels pity for this old man; and says to his friends "I'll meet you guys inside in a moment." He then walks up to the old man and asks if he would like a beer. The old man accepts the offer and they go inside for a drink. The young man figures he should try to make conversation with this old timer. He asks "So how many did you catch?" The old man takes a sip of his beer, puts the beer down, and says "You're the eighth."
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Ur mom
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Its all shïts and giggles until someone giggles and shïts
