Comment with your best joke!
Edit: Can't believe the amount of jokes there are - it's brilliant, keep them coming
Edit: Jesus that's a lot of jokes
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On Valentine's night, a man goes to his local convenience store to buy his supper. He buys a microwave meal for 1, a small bottle of red wine and a small cake. He approaches the checkout to pay and the female cashier smiles at him, " Are you single then? " "yes, you probably guessed because I brought a meal for 1, small bottle of wine and a small cake for myself." To which the female cashier replies; "No, cos you fcuking ugly."
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Big Ten football
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What do u call a black person in space? [spoiler]an astronaut U racist ass[/spoiler]
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My dad loves me... (ಥ_ಥ)
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Unbiased news! Ha what a joke
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I wonder if the people in Hungary ever want Chile.... [spoiler]Bad joke is bad. [/spoiler]
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In m opinion the hardest crucible bounty is to get five postmortems without dying [spoiler]get te joke[/spoiler]
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I'm in a relationship...
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What do you call a gay dinosaur? [spoiler]A Megasaurus[/spoiler] I will see myself out....
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Food is like dark humor.[spoiler]Not everybody gets it[/spoiler]
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Me: what's the difference between a piano, tuna, and glue? Friend: what? Me: you can [i]tuna[/i] piano, but you can't piano a tuna. Friend: *groans* But what about the glue? Me: I knew you'd get stuck there. B)
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What did the robot say to the centipede? [spoiler]Quit [b]being[/b] a centipede![/spoiler] Cookies for those who get the reference.
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What has more brains than a Sandy Hook surviver? [spoiler]The wall behind him.[/spoiler]
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Where did Noah keep the bees?[spoiler]In the Ark hives[/spoiler]
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Edited by Sleepy: 2/21/2015 11:02:29 AMA man and his friend are talking about the mans wedding anniversary... Man: 'I bought my wife a diamond ring for our anniversary.' Friend: 'I thought she wanted a jeep.' Man: 'yeah, she did, but you can't buy a fake jeep...'
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So this Mexican dude goes to the border riding a bike with a sack over his shoulder. When the border guard asks him what's in the bag the Mexican dude says it's only sand. The border guard cuts open the bag and realizes he wasn't lying. This goes on for seven years and it drives the guard crazy. He finally quits and then goes to the Mexican dude and says : "so what is it you've been smuggling for seven years?" The Mexican dude laughs and says "bicycles sucker"
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What the difference between a sack of babies and a Ferrari? [spoiler]i don't own a Ferrari[/spoiler]
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Why can't black people pay rent? Because prison is free
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Edited by Lootenant Dank: 2/27/2015 9:25:19 PMWhat do u call a n!gger in court? [spoiler]guilty[/spoiler]
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A guy walks into a bar. He says ouch. *dudun tsst* [spoiler]it was an actual bar [/spoiler]
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My sex life. Nuff said.
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Why do sorority girls always travel in odd numbered groups? Because they can't even.
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What's the difference between an epileptic oyster-shucker and a hooker with diarrhea? [spoiler]one shucks between fits, the other fùcks between shits[/spoiler]
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What do mexicans use to cut their pizza? [spoiler]little ceasers[/spoiler]
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How did I get out of Iraq?[spoiler]Iran[/spoiler]
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Edited by NoodTayne: 3/10/2015 3:10:16 AMWhat's worse? Multiple babies pinned to one tree, or one baby pinned to multiple trees?