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Edited by Eigerphant:
8/10/2015 4:58:02 PM
1399
Let's hear your best joke
Comment with your best joke!
Edit: Can't believe the amount of jokes there are - it's brilliant, keep them coming
Edit: Jesus that's a lot of jokes
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16 RepliesMy life...
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What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves? [spoiler]Christopher Walken[/spoiler] How do you know your sister is on her period? [spoiler]Your dads #!$& tastes like blood.[/spoiler]
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1 ReplyOk, so two gay guys were having sex in their apartment throughout an entire day. So in the afternoon, the first gay guy gets off his partner and says: "I'm gonna go to the bathroom, so don't cum." So he goes to the bathroom and comes out to see all this semen all over the walls, the window, the bed, just everywhere. So he yells at his partner, saying "I told you not to cum!" [spoiler]His partner responds: "But I didn't cum I just farted!"[/spoiler]
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1 ReplyKnock knock. Who's there? Bofa. BOFA who? [spoiler]BOFA DEEZ NUTZ[/spoiler]
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Why can elevators carry so many people. [spoiler]because they can lift.[/spoiler]
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1 ReplyWhat's the difference between peanut butter and jam?
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1 ReplyMe: why did the chicken cross the road You: why Me: to get to the fat guys house Me: knock knock You: who's there Me: the chicken
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I heard joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Life seems harsh, and cruel. Says he feels all alone in threatening world. Doctor says: "Treatment is simple. The great clown - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. "But doctor..." he says "I am Pagliacci." Good joke. [spoiler]Watchmen reference[/spoiler]
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Women's rights
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5 RepliesWhy did the scarecrow win the Nobel prize? He was out standing in his field.
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Edited by LotsaJam: 10/8/2015 4:48:26 AMA man walked into a gym... Sorry Jim [spoiler]It doesn't work in writing[/spoiler]
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1 ReplyWhat did 1 butcher say to a piece of meat? It's nice to MEAT you! Don't judge.
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Two blondes walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it.
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Isn't mine
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Where does Napoleon keep his armies? [spoiler]IN HIS SLEEVIES *slaps knee*[/spoiler]
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What happened when the butcher wasn't paying attention? [spoiler]misteakes were made *slaps knee*[/spoiler]
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3 RepliesKnock Knock Who's there? Jack Jack Who? [spoiler]Jack then began to weep as his grandfathers Alzheimer's disease got to the point where he didn't remember relatives[/spoiler]
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Napoleons penis was sold for 40,000 dollars to a urologist.
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2 RepliesWhy are rich British people do ripped [spoiler]cuz they gotta lift so many pounds [/spoiler] I'll see myself out now
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1 ReplyA warlock, hunter and titan walk into a bar . . .
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21 RepliesA blonde went into a library and told the librarian "I'd like medium fries, a burger, and a small drink" the librarian replied with"honey this is a library" so she whispered very quietly "id like medium fries, a burger, and a small drink"
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2 RepliesWhat do u call a lesbian dinosaur? [spoiler]Lick-a-lot-a-pus[/spoiler]
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Hear about the fire? [spoiler]yeah dropped my mix tape[/spoiler] What do you call a black man in a space suit?[spoiler]an astronaut you racist f***k[/spoiler] What do you call someone with only one leg?[spoiler]handicapped, jeez you guys are evil[spoiler]
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Edited by Damptowelman: 10/8/2015 3:48:12 AMWhat do firefighters and prostitutes have in common? [spoiler]They both get paid to sleep around[/spoiler]
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So three couples decide to go on a cruise. Out of nowhere a storm hits and the boat sinks sending the passengers to a watery death. In heaven now the three couples stand before the pearly gates waiting to be judged. The first couple steps up and God says to the husband "You love money so much you married a woman named Penny, you're going to Hell." The second couple steps up and God says to the husband "You love food so much you married a woman named Candy, you're going to Hell." As the third couple steps up the husband looks to his spouse and says "Dick I think we're in trouble."
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What is 7 inches long, pink and makes my gf scream when I put it in her mouth? Her miscarriage
