HR: Hi there! Good morning and welcome. Have a seat. Ok, wow! Back for your third interview eh? You made it through the crucible this far huh? Candidate: Yeah, I guess I did. I'm really excited to be here right now. HR: Great! Well this one will be short; almost a formality. We just have to do some final screening before you can join our firm full time. We know you're Ivy League and all, honestly, that's what got you through the door but you can never be too careful in this profession. Candidate: Oh, ok great I guess! What do we need to clear up? HR: Well let's look at your file here... Harvard Law... Internships with the DOJ and a lot of work with the Innocence Project. Did you ever find yourself conflicted I those roles? Candidate: Well there were a few times but I got good guidance from my superiors and trusted my gut in the end. HR: I see... Your salary requirements are ok if maybe a little low actually. Any reason you only asked for $225,000.00? Candidate: Well, I'm not exactly new to the field and I was top of my class at Harvard, hell, I'm guest lecturer in civil torte litigation next semester. It's just that... How to explain... HR: It's ok, go on... It is your final interview you know. Candidate: I'll be straight with you. I don't have a Gjhallarhorn. HR: Come again? Candidate: I don't have a Gjhallarhorn. Also, my Ice Breaker isn't sharded yet and the only legendary ship I have is that stupid lime green Russian one. HR: I see... It says here that your k/d is 1.9 but it fails to mention your lack of a decent launcher and never even discusses not sharding your Ice Breaker. This... This might be a minor issue...(presses panic button under desk) Candidate: Don't get me wrong, it'll drop soon I swear and I have enough coins for the shard next Xursday so you know... HR: What, what do I know? That you need to get gud sir? Or should I call you Meg. Candidate: But I am good... You saw my k/d... You said it was ok... HR: That was then... This is now... Security: Freeze pal! Is this the scrub ma'am?! HR: Yes. Get him out of this office and off this property but take him down the service elevator and through the alley. Security: Yes ma'am. Ok scrub, get up and don't gimmee any shit. If I have to pop a bubble my bro over there is gonna shoulder charge your punk ass right out the window. Candidate: But my k/d... I have the vex! And Thorn... I went to fu cking Harvard!!! Security: Save it for Xur on welfare day Meg... Let's go. HR: Just so there's no hard feelings, I hear they need public defenders in Detroit who'll work for motes... Bitch...