This is a great idea except for the Goliath and Exiled Vex encounters. I feel like each would not reach their full intended impact on the player without being in a cinematic format. Also the vex encounter would become tedious unless there was rough terrain, traps, or enemy variety involved. Also the vex encounter could be improved if the goblins moved faster and could climb walls or if there was a way to prevent the already fallen goblins from resurrecting, such as maybe an intractable object like the Relic that one person would hold and on super would emit a large AoE attack that would denigrate the bodies of the already fallen vex.
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The reason I made it this way is because I thought it'd be interesting to make the player make a transition from feeling like an overpowered warlord to a tiny weak ant where in the final room you are not supposed to try and fend off the thousands of Vex you're meant to run away. Also this is more of a very general broad stroke painting. If I had the ability to make this, I would definitely give the rooms some character and provide greater enemy variety. The Vex currently appear to be made of hammered brass. They are ancient robots. I wanted these Vex to appear as white, as if they were made of stainless steel or just to look more modern. I wanted to do this for a reason I'd like to get to later on in the raid. As a hint, I would like to make it so that when you kill one, rather than having that white "siliceous ooze" come out of them, to have the black oil come out of them instead. So as you go further down the rooms, the army appears to get darker, despite their pristine white metal plating.