Use my mystical Chiefy ways

No need, I was in the box all along!

I open the box with a falcon PUNCHHH then i look inside and i see... A dead unicorn head with fake boobs on the horn

Take box cutter make small incision throw milk bone into box through the incision watch dog open/destroy box to get milk bone

*jumps out of bed, landing my right foot square on box, destroying cardboard, impaling my foot and opening it in one smooth motion*

I stare at it until it opens on its own.

I would open it with only my index fingers.

Searching the room, in the corner I see a box. On the front, it has the word "junk" inscribed. With a hint of trepidation I slowly reach out my hands and begin to open the box. Taking my time, I open each corner, anxious yet somehow nervous about the soon to be revealed contents of this box. I don't remember where this box came from. My wife, being the meticulous woman that she is would have [i]never[/i] just written a one-word clue as to the contents of it. During the house move, she carefully labeled every box with its exact contents, which is why this "junk" box has me nervous. I don't remember where it came from. We had only been in the house for a month and hadn't had a chance to unpack half of our things. There were other boxes scattered around, but [i]this[/i] box seemed to have a certain presence about it. It seemed to react to my trepidation and intensify because it. With my heart beating faster and faster, the contents were mere seconds away from being revealed...

Opens box with feet. Using telepathy.

*Puts my hardened d*ck against one side of the box.* *Pierces through the box, making a fair hole in it.* "[i]Where da wimmen at?[/i]"

As the box says I use my junk to open the box in the most fanciest of matters

*opens ur nan's box* [I]ifyouknowwhatimean[/I]

I'll relabel it viagra and hand it to you OP.

Twas the night before absoutly fμck all And all through the threads Not a creature was stirring Not even the trolls. Even though the help section was placed with great care, People still manage to post stupid shit there. Even though I'm tucked nicely into bed Somehow I manage to be here on this thread. The op present a challenges for we Must we open this box creatively? I guess so, since I have no other choice Except for listing to the sound of a p¤rnstar's voice. Because lonely am I And all the people I ask always deny. But that's not the point, time to open this box. God damn it, I hope I didn't go through all this for fμcking socks. The box seems to be in packaging stronger than Fort Knox How the mental fμck am I going to get into this box? I got! Scissors are the key For entering the box that has forever doomed we. I grab the scissors, and [i]snip, snip, snip[/i] But this tape seems to be tighter than your mother's pμssy lips. Oh no, did I say that? I apologize, for this box has frustrated me. Hopefully, I will still be in favour of the op. Since scissors did not work, maybe there is a lock? This box is so heavy! Is it just a concrete block? But, how could this be? It is just a cardboard box, you see? Mr. Op, why would you put this burden on me? What do you want from me? Hookers, money, power? I have none of those, but I certainly can scour. [b]sigh[/b], I feel this is inevitable. It's either this, or reading political/religion threads, most severely illegible. I have no idea how to open this Something as strong as this... "Eureka!" I scream, over come with glee. That lightsaber I found last year, under the christmas tree. Wrapped so delicate, with my name marked all over Sometimes I stay awake at night, wondering if it's why I cannot get a lover? That does not matter now, I need to get in, I run to my room with a stupid grin. I fling open the door, ahh, my humble abode. The walls covered in posters, and stick-on stars that glowed. There it is - sweet relief From this hell the op bestowed upon me. I grab the sword that sat between the Indiana Jones Lego Set and GI Joe figurines. I brush off the dust, and switch it on The glowing red light left me awestruck; like a mother deer who has first seen her little, beautiful fawn. I rush to the box, excited for what I might see. What if its something special for me? With careful precision, I cut tape. The box popped open, and a something dark sat in the box - something so dark, I could not see the shape. I bent down to get a better look Did he give me a fμcking book? It's something else. Words I can't read. I got a lot closer, destined to succeed. I finally got close enough to read. The words read "To find what's in this box, you must impress the op." This is why I am here, dear reader. Writing this fμcking poem, just trying to impress this thread leader. Take my advice People have done this once, sometimes twice. The op is not easily impressed, you see. Hence why this poem took so much energy out of me. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must go. I surely hope you enjoyed my tales of woe. [spoiler]this took me a fμCking hour. I need a life.[/spoiler]

*farts on box*

I take four candles and place them on the floor at all four corners of the box and light them while praising the sun. I then get out a small jar filled with desticle tears I've been collecting in secret while lurking theae forums. I carefully place 3 drops on each corner of the box. Afterwards I injest the rest of the bottle and place it upside down on top of the box directly in the middle. I now wait in anticipation ti see what happens.

Devil vagina magic, activate

Chainsaw.

Buy a baby monkey. Train it to use its small, delicate hands for manipulating objects. Use the monkey to steal rich people's jewelry. Sell the jewelry, and invest the money in a robotics company. Develop a robot able to detect the size and shape of an object, and any aperture it may have. Embezzle the profits from the sale of your robot in a massive pair of gold plated scissors. Cut open box.

Karate kick it open

*Set box on fire* i like fire

first I'll stick the blade, gun side up, into the side portion of the tape sealing the top, then BANG! No more tape!

*Zelda sfx* *Holds mysterious object above own head*

Shotgun blast and missiles.

Laser it