Twas the night before absoutly fμck all
And all through the threads
Not a creature was stirring
Not even the trolls.
Even though the help section was placed with great care,
People still manage to post stupid shit there.
Even though I'm tucked nicely into bed
Somehow I manage to be here on this thread.
The op present a challenges for we
Must we open this box creatively?
I guess so, since I have no other choice
Except for listing to the sound of a p¤rnstar's voice.
Because lonely am I
And all the people I ask always deny.
But that's not the point, time to open this box.
God damn it, I hope I didn't go through all this for fμcking socks.
The box seems to be in packaging stronger than Fort Knox
How the mental fμck am I going to get into this box?
I got! Scissors are the key
For entering the box that has forever doomed we.
I grab the scissors, and [i]snip, snip, snip[/i]
But this tape seems to be tighter than your mother's pμssy lips.
Oh no, did I say that? I apologize, for this box has frustrated me.
Hopefully, I will still be in favour of the op.
Since scissors did not work, maybe there is a lock?
This box is so heavy! Is it just a concrete block?
But, how could this be? It is just a cardboard box, you see?
Mr. Op, why would you put this burden on me?
What do you want from me? Hookers, money, power?
I have none of those, but I certainly can scour.
[b]sigh[/b], I feel this is inevitable.
It's either this, or reading political/religion threads, most severely illegible.
I have no idea how to open this
Something as strong as this...
"Eureka!" I scream, over come with glee.
That lightsaber I found last year, under the christmas tree.
Wrapped so delicate, with my name marked all over
Sometimes I stay awake at night, wondering if it's why I cannot get a lover?
That does not matter now, I need to get in,
I run to my room with a stupid grin.
I fling open the door, ahh, my humble abode.
The walls covered in posters, and stick-on stars that glowed.
There it is - sweet relief
From this hell the op bestowed upon me.
I grab the sword that sat between the Indiana Jones Lego Set and GI Joe figurines.
I brush off the dust, and switch it on
The glowing red light left me awestruck; like a mother deer who has first seen her little, beautiful fawn.
I rush to the box, excited for what I might see.
What if its something special for me?
With careful precision, I cut tape.
The box popped open, and a something dark sat in the box - something so dark, I could not see the shape.
I bent down to get a better look
Did he give me a fμcking book?
It's something else. Words I can't read.
I got a lot closer, destined to succeed.
I finally got close enough to read.
The words read "To find what's in this box, you must impress the op."
This is why I am here, dear reader.
Writing this fμcking poem, just trying to impress this thread leader.
Take my advice
People have done this once, sometimes twice.
The op is not easily impressed, you see.
Hence why this poem took so much energy out of me.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I must go.
I surely hope you enjoyed my tales of woe.
[spoiler]this took me a fμCking hour. I need a life.[/spoiler]
English
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Well you have done, Yes indeed The Box is defeated, this you can see. My rhymes are not great, The box knows this too, But your gift is all powerful, and not made of poo. The darkness you hold shatters and breaks, And in front of you rises a treasure, not steak. The treasure is breathing, and staring you down, But dont be afraid, no dont even frown, For the gift is a woman, so beautiful and tall Hot chicks dig poetry and yours rocked most of all. So go on with your woman, and lightsaber to boot. For the box has been conquered, and for the stars you should shoot.
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Edited by T0ASTY GH0STY: 2/4/2015 10:55:15 AMThank you, good sir. I appreciate your gift, do not be detoured. But you see, women are not who I seek, for I am one myself, so bland and meek. Do not fret, I enjoy the gift indeed. I will teach her do things for me. Go get my clothes, and feed the cat. But I will also treat her nicely - at that! I will let her use my xbox And play on my tv. For she can be a best friend for me. Or even my family [spoiler]not really.[/spoiler] Now I am no longer alone A loser with no life, I have a good friend, and I thank you, op. For giving a great gift to me [spoiler]i also would have loved that star trek limited edition gold pizza cutter, but this works too.[/spoiler]
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Your gift a mistake The box sees your fate The woman dissappears deep in the lake Out from the heavens, In an immaculate chorus, Down from above decends a man name horace. Horace is special this cant you see? He has the star trek limited edition gold pizza cutter, plus it was free. His biceps are large, and his chest is well groomed. His star trek knowledge is vast, and he knows all the moons. I hope this makes up for my silly mistake But thats all i have, and now my leave i must take.
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Oh thank you, dear op! I won't forget this, this pizza cutter was something I need undoubitly. I needed to finish my collection. I had the bronze, steel, and silver, all that reflected my complexion. One was missing, as it seemed, a piece of my life that was incomplete. As I surfed the webs, high and far, all I could find were replicas, it seemed that the supply of the gold was deplete. Now that my life is finally complete, and my display finished I shall return to the Enterprise, for there is pizza that shall be gutted. As i hold up the gold relic, it shone bright, I spoke without any fright. "Beam me up, Scotty." And disappeared into the night.