Dark Sided Scavenger

[quote]I couldn't ever forget that day. January 17th, 2011. Sophomore year. The night before I had taco bell for dinner. I had a cheesy ghordita crunch, a nacho supreme, and a crunch wrap supreme. For dessert I had chocolate ice cream drizzled in chocolate and caramel syrup. My stomach began to rumble in bed that night. the next morning I wake up, and have a bowl of left over chili for breakfast. Little did I know this was an ingredient that was part of a recipe for disaster. I get to school to find out my friend brought donuts and was too full to eat the rest, so I had to chocolate bars and a maple bar. I then dug into my backpack where I kept my monster energy drink for the day. Then second period hit. I began to feel the 8,000 grams of sugar rotate and expand itself inside of me. The amount of toxic gases that had built up in my rectum were so thick and great in number it could have caused a devastating earthquake that could have caused the end of the world. I knew an epic fart was on its way, so I squeezed my buttcheeks as hard as I could. The gasses were pounding on the black gate, but gondors men stood strong. One of my buttcheeks looked to the other, and said "if we stick together, we can stop this shit". Then it happened. Shit began propelling out of my asshole like an intergallactic missile, literally shredding through my underwear and jeans, flying into the mouth of the poor girl behind me. Poor Stacy. She was only 15 years old. She drowned in my shit, as did nearly the entire class. the only reason a few of us survived is because the teacher swam through the sea of shit and vomit of the students and opened the classroom door just in time. It was like a canal had broken and the shit rivers were running through the school. I did over $3,000 worth of property damage, and caused about 850 people to vomit. Of course this story isn't true, but I thought it'd be funny. to be honest one time a farted and it did stink really bad.[/quote]