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originally posted in:TFS The Floods Sanctuary
Edited by Bandi:
4/29/2013 1:09:06 AM
26
I believe most of us (at least on the forums) are defensive listeners.
Or in this case, defensive readers.
Defensive listeners take others' remarks as personal attacks. For example, the teenager who perceives their parents' questions about their friends and activities as distrustful uses defensive listening, as do touchy parents, who view any questioning by their children as a threat to their authority and parental wisdom. It's (slightly) fair to assume that defensive listeners suffer from shaky presenting images and avoid admitting it by projecting their own insecurities onto others.
Agree/Disagree?
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I think most people here are incapable of open-minded discussion. They spend more time thinking of a rebuttal to someone's post than actually trying to understand their point of view. But it's like that everywhere
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I'd agree. I've gotten in more than a few verbal spats because someone read what I said incorrectly or something someone posted just hit me wrong. Part of it is me being a legitimate asshole though.
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Probably coincides with my AvPD
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I am one of those guys. Probably to a lesser extent than some, but yah.
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Agree, I try not to take the Internet's posts very seriously, but it gets through to me anyway.
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Edited by Circadian Wolf: 4/29/2013 6:23:35 PMI'd say I'm usually not, especially not on the internet where I know to take nobodies opinions seriously. I just "roll with the punches" as I like to say.
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"Most of us" I could believe. I'm more defensive on the internet than in real life, since my friends and family are all pretty chill people, and i'm quiet and don't talk a lot.
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4 RepliesEdited by King Dutchy: 4/29/2013 1:40:57 AMI try to keep my school life and my family life completely separate. I give them a single piece of information regarding my life and school and they decide to bombard me with questions, I'll post an example. Some questions will have background information in parenthesis regarding the question) >Dad tells grandmother and two aunts regarding Hoosier Boys State >Grandma: "When is that?" Me: "I don't remember, sometime during June." Aunt 1: "Where is it at?" Me: "Trine University." Aunt 1: "Is it going to be fun with the rest of your quiz team?" (First of all, I have told my family multiple times that it's not a damn quiz bowl team, it's called an Academic Decathlon team, huge difference. it frustrates me each time they do this.) Me: "The team has nothing to do with this" >Grandma: "What's it about" Me: "Politics and stuff" >Aunt 2: "Is the band going to go? (I seriously can't believe that my aunt is stupid enough to believe that it's possible for the entire school band is going to go to a special non-music related event just because one member was selected) Me: "No" They continue bombarding me with questions until I make this statement: Me: "Listen, so far I've only been NOMINATED. I don't know much about this thing, I'm not even selected yet. As soon as I know stuff about this, I'll tell you guys, but right now I know nothing." Then they ask a couple more questions and I end up repeated myself. It's really frustrating and I'm trying not to raise my voice. Then my dad accuses me of being rude because I'm trying to stop them from asking questions rife with misconceptions that I don't know the answer to and because it's really none of their business. Then for the next week or so my dad will constantly remind me that I need to stop being rude to my family even though they were the ones trying to get their noses into my private life despite repeated requests for them to stop. ... This was more of a rant then a reaction to the OP. But yeah, I do feel threatened whenever they ask me any question regarding my non-family life because it's damn frustrating and it's a lose-lose situation regardless of whether I answer the questions or not. It's going to be glorious when I'm in college and away from them.
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I tend to look way too much into what people say, I've always been like that. I don't think I get overly defensive, but I can depending on the situation.
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agreed.
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Disagree
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Yeah well -blam!- you too.
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Agreed.
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I'm not much of either really.
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1 ReplyYour still a -blam!-.
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I am most definitely not.
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I agree.
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Well, I can't speak for everyone, but I don't think I am.
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Edited by Winy: 4/29/2013 1:33:32 AMI don't find that I fall victim to that, but occasionally I'll see an "DERRR U JUST DID AD HOMINEN LOLOLOL" in debates when zero personal attacks were made in the discussion.
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7 Repliesyour custom pic is gay
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3 RepliesWould I be defensive if I disagree?
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I do tend to take the opposing side of an argument, when the OP acts aggressive about it, even when i don't fully agree with what i'm saying; kinda funny how cognitive dissonance works online.
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Edited by VerticalGradient: 4/29/2013 1:16:54 AMI most definitely agree. And I'd say that it also applies to most other places of the internet. Although, to some credit, a lot of people are bashful speakers/writers. So it's not completely surprising that this is the case, but still, too many people don't seem to grasp the concept of walking away from a pointless encounter. Or, on the other side, of not being aggressive.
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Agreed. Some people are too sensitive, or think every remark made towards them is a criticism. It's definitely a sign of insecurity.
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Not really. I'm not, I don't think.
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how dare you say that of me?
