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originally posted in:TFS The Floods Sanctuary
Edited by risay_117:
9/20/2013 2:16:08 PM
14
Joke thread
So anyway decided to make a thread for jokes and wanted to see what the users can come up.
So anyway i will give it a shot. Saw it on reddit some time ago so yeah not original.
[quote]
A girl asked her boyfriend to come over friday night and have dinner with her parents. And being a big event she suggested to make love for the first time right after.
Being happy yet inexperienced he decides to go to the local pharmacy to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist its his first time and the pharmacist helps him giving him advice on sex and condoms. At the register the boy is asked by the pharmacist what pack he would want the 3 pack, 10 pack , or the family pack. The boy insists on the family pack as he believes he will be quite busy the whole night.
That night the boy shows up at the girls parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door who is excited to introduce him to her parents.
They go inside and he is taken to dinner where the parents are seated.
The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute pass and his head is still down deep in prayer. 10 minutes passed and still no movement.
Finally after 20 minutes his girlfriend leans over to him and whispers,"I had no idea you were this religious."
To which the boy replies in a whisper,"I had no idea your father was the pharmacist!"
[/quote]
Anyway a copypasta of some sorts. So any jokes from you guys?
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1 ReplyA slightly offensive one bt here it goes [quote] When does the pentagon not have five side? [spoiler] When it is intersected by a plane [/spoiler] [/quote] Apologies for offending anyone.
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1 ReplyWhats brown and taps on the window? [spoiler]a baby in a microwave[/spoiler]
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Edited by U3967569: 9/25/2013 3:43:11 PMGod made the first native-american[spoiler]"oh shit! I burnt one!"[/spoiler] Why do they make glow in the dark condoms?[spoiler] so gay men can play star wars[/spoiler] How do you make a plumber cry? [spoiler] kill his family[/spoiler]
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Edited by BlackHeaven: 9/25/2013 7:06:48 AMWhy couldn't the communist get a date? [spoiler] [i]Because he had no class![/i][/spoiler]
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Another one i found some time ago [quote] There once was a shark who decided to take his son with him to teach him how to hunt. Upon arriving at a popular beach the father told his son to circle the people with a small only a small part of the fin out of the water. They did this for some time until the father told him to cirlce around but this time with their whole fin out of the water. This they did until the father gave instruction to go and eat them and that they did swallowing all the beach goers. While going back the son asked,"Why do we circle before we eat them instead of eating them right there" To which the father replied,"Son we do that so there is no shit inside them when we eat them." [/quote]
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I only heard this on the radio the other day, and can't find it again, so forgive me if I mess it up... [quote]A cannibal, a schizophrenic, a homosexual, and a woman in a coma were all on a plane on their way to a mental hospital. On the way, the plane crashed in some mountains. Search and rescue finally arrived several days later and only found one person alive after the crash. When asked how he was able to live so long, he replied "by eating fruits, nuts, and vegetables."[/quote]
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1 ReplyA joke: my dad left me as a child. Obama is our leader and I'm on welfare selling ice cream watching little kids getting rap'ed by there uncles.
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Women's rights
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Why did little Jimmy drop his ice-cream cone? [spoiler]He was raped by his uncle[/spoiler]
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1 Reply[quote]I recall my first time with a condom, I must have been 16. I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was this beautiful assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it. She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, "No, this is my first time." So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So she looked all around the store to see if it was empty. It was empty. "Just a minute." she said, and walked to the door, and locked it. Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. "Do these excite you?" she asked. Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was shake my head. She then said it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her knickers and sat down at a desk. "Well, come on," she said, "we don't have much time." So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOW. I was done within a few minutes. She looked at me with a bit of a frown, "Did you put that condom on?" she asked. I said, "I sure did." and held up my thumb to show her.[/quote]
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April showers being may flowers! And what do mayflowers bring? [spoiler]pilgrims![/spoiler]
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dicks LOLOLOLOLOLOL
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The OP
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Lol I thought the family pack condoms would start a family. I was tinkin out side teh bocks
