originally posted in:NMPA
Welcome floodians, newfags, and desticles.
I have gathered you here today to debate and petition a growing problem amongst us today.
Private studies done by multiple universities have shown that water could actually have a [i]negative[/i] effect historically, and currently, on humanity and all life in general.
Since before humans, all life has been dependent on water. Absorbing it, drinking it, [i]breathing it.[/i] this is where the problem arises.
[b]Studies show that 100% of all life that has ever been exposed to water has died.[/b]
Water is evil. Autopsies done on humans and animals have shown that every person or animal who has ever died had water in their bodies when it passed away. This means that if you have ever drank or touched water, then you [b][i]will [u]die.[/u][/i][/b]
Water is poisonous and evil. It is relentless. It grinds down rocks and changes the environment. The poor fish and sea animals and plants who live in water are surrounded by water all of the time.
I petition that we ban the use of water to drink or wash yourself with as all people exposed to it will die. [u]Sign below if you agree.[/u]
Note to readers: [u][i][b]Buy a dehumidifier.[/b][/i][/u] This is most crucial as water is in the air around you and must be removed ASAP. Seal and never leave your house either as water is in the outside atmosphere. If you own an animal, stop giving it water along with removing water from your diet as well. No longer eat foods that contain water. The best place to get food from now on would be to order freeze dried meats and vegetables from your local air and space associations. To remove a lot of water from your body quickly, the removal of limbs can remove multiple pints at a time.
Best of luck to you and your loved ones, spread the word and avoid all sources of water.
Architects, out.
Edit: Extra details from our founder, https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/59905935/0/0
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Mini-Necrobump
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#1 cause of death worldwide: Being born
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We should nuke water
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You must be from California
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We need to get this out there, dihydrogen monoxide is a killer
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https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/176782990/0/0
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Who's laughing now health fgts! [spoiler]sips coke[/spoiler]
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you just lost the game.
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Oxygen is the true killer each breath brings you closer to death, the more you breath the faster you expire.
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It's been a year without water, my parents still don't understand me....
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While well written, the joke sucked.
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Think of ot this way... Water is a curse because if we dont drink it we die, but if we have to much we die. We need it but it can kill us.
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[quote]Welcome floodians, newfags, and desticles.[/quote]Lol... so nonchalantly. And to the rest of the post, lol as well.
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Be warned, Flood. You could be next.
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[b]k[/b]
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This is hilarious lol
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Petition to replace all water with lava. * sips hot chocolate *
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I've also heard stories about a similar chemical, Dihydrogen Monoxide I may be spelling it wrong? Deadly stuff
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Haven't had water in 6 months. I have several dehumidifying stations set up around my house. I have not left my househould for five years. I believe I am doing well.
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I eat loads of cheddar nuggets. water will not stop me from enjoying these cheesy little balls with a side of ranch.
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That doesn't mean that they Die from water
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thx for acknowledging me [spoiler][b] [/b][/spoiler]
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Edited by BenjyX55: 11/27/2015 1:45:57 AM1/10 This bit has already been done to death.
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Spread the word.
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Do it for the children!