First Contact Draft

Hey guys, I just finished the first 2 chapters of a fan ficction I'm wirting, and some constructive criticism would be nice. remember this is just a rough draft. FIRST CONTACT CHAPTER 1 BATTLESHIP NOSTALGIA RINGS OF SATURN The Nostalgia had completed its ten day journey from a deep space military station to the outermost debris field of Saturn. Command of the Nostalgia had been given to an officer whose subordinates had nicknamed The Spook. The officer’s real name was Daniel Kravitz, but had been given the moniker Spook due to his ability to seemingly appear out of thin air. Most of his men suspected he had once been a Hunter, other believed him to have been a Warlock due to the fact that sometimes it seemed he could read his subordinates minds, and then there were those who believed him to be both. High Command had given him orders to investigate the wreckage of a small freighter that had not responded until a year later with a distress signal. It had been carrying important weapon and armor prototypes, along with some of the brightest minds of humanity to Mars. The admirals were shocked how far off course the ship had gone. Daniel was to send in his best retrieval team code name alpha. Alpha team’s orders were find any survivors and get them extracted. Their secondary objective was to retrieve the prototypes or destroy them if salvaging was not an option. CHAPTER 2 CREW CABINS ALPHA BARRACKS Alpha team had recently been briefed on their mission and were to take one of the ships most gifted Warlocks. This displeased a few of the team mainly Alpha 2 who was to rig the ship to blow after everything salvageable had been retrieved. Alpha now found themselves waiting in their cabin for the call to report to the shuttle bay to be flown to their target. Alpha 2 was especially on-edge about the whole deal and voiced his displeasure openly. “A freaking Warlock! Seriously? The last thing I need on this op is some witch doctor screwing things up.” Alpha 2 ranted “Cool it 2.”Replied Alpha 1, who was lying on his bunk cleaning a large combat knife,” The brass just wants this to go without a hitch. Besides if there are any survivors we’ll need someone to patch ‘em up. You know us lowly Titans aren’t the most gifted in whatever the hell that big orb gave the Warlocks and Hunters.” "Damn prima donnas. They get the special treatment for being able to solve problems a gun or grenade could just as easily solve.” Alpha 3 chimed in. Alpha 1 stopped cleaning and set the knife down. He then turned to Alpha 3 and in a low growl said, “Watch it 3, you owe your life to a Warlock. As much as I dislike them, you should show a little respect.” Alpha 3 put up his hands in a protective manner while saying,” Sorry boss, it’s just that it seems we always get the crap assignments. Sure we’ve had a slightly hazardous extraction of some admirals here, a demo job there, but nothing with real adventure.” Alpha 2 sat up and looked at 3, then he laid back down and muttered,” Your something else 3.” Alpha one finished his cleaning and went to sleep on his bunk and his team followed his example. If only they knew this was the last good night of sleep they would get for a while. If you would like to give the Alpha team actual names please comment with suggestions.