originally posted in:The Black Garden
[u]We Hold[/u]
The Earth shakes as their army marches toward us
The Heavens grow dark as if it knows…
The air roars as their innumerous numbers shout
We Stand, us few, we stand against many…
We Stand between them and our homes
We Stand between them and our loved ones
We Stand between them and our way of life…
They charge our few like a flood breaking on an unmovable rock
We Hold.
They batter us time and time again
We Hold.
They are not deterred so easily and keep trying to push us down
We Hold.
We Hold because if we cannot my family will perish…
We Hold because if we cannot your family will perish…
We Hold because if we cannot our home will perish…
We Hold because if we cannot we will perish pointlessly…
We Hold because we are Soldiers.
We are Guardians of our own…
We are fatigued…
We are bruised…
We are battered…
We are bloodied…
We stay Strong.
We know we can only hold for so much longer…
We have held not yielding to every attack they have thrown at us…
We must…
We cannot hold any longer…
We Charge.
We Charge the enemy at their lines.
We Charge the enemy at their heart.
We Strike fear into them.
We Strike them down.
We Fight.
Their numbers greatly outnumber our own…
We are only few.
We are only mortal.
We are only human.
We Fight.
We know we will all fall and we do…
But not in vain…
Not for an unjust cause.
Not for a pointless task.
Not for ourselves.
We all fall…
We fall to give you more time.
We fall to ensure your safety.
We fall for you to finish this threat.
We fall for you to defend our homes that we once defended.
We fall for Sacrifice.
We fall for Honor.
We fall for Courage.
We fall so You can Rise…
Be Brave.
Written by Michael G. Von Rupp
*Yes this also has references to the Ancient Spartans that fell at Thermopylae in defense of Sparta. Spartans Never Die.
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To offer some critique I think the poem falls flat to be honest. I don't feel there is any deep meaning behind this poem inb4 "2deep4u" "We Hold because if we cannot my family will perish… We Hold because if we cannot your family will perish… We Hold because if we cannot our home will perish… We Hold because if we cannot we will perish pointlessly… We Hold because we are Soldiers." What do you write that in like 5 seconds or something I mean I could write this poem. I feel like it's easy to write a poem like this and claim "2deep4u" I mean I critique art and when I tell them the basic principles of anatomy they claim "muh style" which everybody has but it's also pretty lazy. I feel like this poem is not alive. I feel like an edgy 15-17 year old wrote this. I mean you don't use any strong vocabulary, I don't find myself thinking after this poem. And yeah I feel like this poem took no effort and it was just a "3deep5u" poem.
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Someone needs to iambic pentameter this guy's ass. XD jk
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That is nice. Bonus points if you can make it rhyme, OP.
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Edited by MinuteTrack76: 5/8/2013 12:18:11 AMOk we get it you're good at poetry, you're just milking it now after the good feedback you got with your first one. You are very talented at poetry but give it a rest already.
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Great work!
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excellent great work can't wait for your possible other one
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thats really great poem. especially in this world situation. [url]http://seoservicesoptimization.com/[/url]
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I am personally getting tired of these threads. I mean I am all for Destiny Hype, but poetry? Come on, thats a bit too hyped. Not only that but this has barely anything at all to do with Destiny. As a matter of fact none of your poems have been very Destiny oriented. Shouldnt this go somewhere else?
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ok dude stop. You are spamming the forums. Make a thread and just keep on posting there.
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you have a way with words Rus!
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Awesome! I love it!