The Black Knights journal chapter one

This is just a chapter from a bunch of short stories I plan on writing about me and my friends adventuring around the solar system in Destiny. I hope you like, "Wait Jill it doesn't have to be this way we are a team friends we are..." I couldn't finish. "What that we are family or let me guess you were going to say something even more ludicrous using the L word, well my allegiance lies with Osiris not with you or your pathetic excuse of a team you have, Osiris will rule the galaxy." Jill finished as she aimed her sniper rifle Closing Time at me. "That is a lie and you know it , I will find you and when I do..." "Goodbye Major." Jill interrupted through clenched Teeth and from the sound of her voice tears as she shot a sniper bullet at my hunter chest plate piercing my shields and exiting narrowly missing my heart before she fired one more shot straight through my sternum. I felt my body buckle under the strain of my wounds. I took a deep breath but I couldn't breathe my lung began to go dry and my bright red blood covered my blue and red hunter armor along with my black Hunter cloak. My vision blurred the last thing I saw before fainting was Jill's violet hunters cloak and a man in exotic armor telling her well done. "How did I get into this mess" I thought before it all became clear. Earth three months ago The Wall] "Eat negative plasma you stupid fallen." I yelled at two fallen captains as I riddled them with superior pulse rifle bullets . " I'm going to send your souls screaming into the black!" I yelled as I jabbed my combat knife into a fallen dregs neck and slammed my pulse rifle into another fallen captains face releasing their howling souls. Running through the halls of the wall I carefully eliminated each fallen solider coldly and efficiently. After this run I stopped as I heard rumbling. A giant fallen archanslayer class at that jumped out of an old sewer line wielding twin giant swords along with enough weaponry to arm a team of fallen. I attacked with a barrage of pulse rifle fire only to be picked up and slammed on the floor but quickly only to see the Rixaus fallen in my face. As I looked up I saw a sniper bullet pierce his skull and I turned to see a hunter in purple armor and a violet cloak walk up to and offered a hand only for me to coldly decline. "Who are you? I asked "The name is Jill." she replied. "You mean like Jill Valentine?" I joked only to be given a harsh reply back. "Did anyone tell you that your not funny?"Jill retorted leaving me with a bruised ego. "Yeah I think that we are done here I'm leaving. Good bye Jill. Hope we don't meet again." I said as I walked towards the wall's exit. Little did I know that wouldn't be our first encounter. chapter one over what do you think any advice?