Destiny: Days without sun.

Here is the exert from the story, the rest can be found in the link at the top of the page. ......................................................................................................................... ‘I have whirl’d with the earth at the dawning, When the sky was a vaporous flame; I have seen the dark universe yawning, Where the black planets roll without aim; Where they roll in their horror unheeded, without knowledge or lustre or name.’ - H.P Lovecraft. Io hung in the sky over the Ice, framed on all sides by the swirling surface of Jupiter. the darkness of night was broken as the first golden rays crept across the planets. Strange shadows formed and shifted. as the light crept slowly over Europa’s Glacial surface, a dark shape emerged from the colourless night, a tall and glittering tower from an age that was long gone, a monument to a time that had passed. The gateway to the museum city, beneath the ice, which winded labyrinthian further than any had mapped, the depths of the which went down as far as the liquid sea, beneath the moon’s surface. The silence and the darkness was broken by heavy footfalls and billowing cloth. A warlock, from the last city on Earth, ran thunderously across the glassy surface of the moon,the wind howled in the breaking dawn. As he ran across the Ice flats towards the spire, he saw distantly a red robed figure not four miles ahead of him. Had he been In possession of the long rifle he could have ended it right then. The Warlock’s breath came in rags, he moved in great strides over the low gravity moon, ran below a crater's edge and lost sight of his quarry. the grey blue surface of the dense ice floor sparkled like tiny grains of sand in the rising light. He pushed his legs on. Lactic acid flooding his muscles faster than his body could dispose of it. he grunted and remembering his training, running on such a low gravity surface for so long gave the impression of flight. As he emerged from the craters lip the Warlock did not see his enemy, they had gone out of the range of his vision, or possibly had already got into the great tower. Finally he arrived at the foot of the tower, it had the words Gate V painted on the side of it, huge Ice crystals clung to its edges, cracking and creaking in the harsh wind, light catching around the their edges. The crumbling decadence of a once great culture encased in ice, the museum city itself had become a relic to an ancient people. The footprints he had been following led up ice coated stairs and into the courtyard before the tower. As he ascended the steps the wind picked up, almost lifting him off his feet, tiny ice crystals caught in the swirling breeze, they blew around him and glinted in the bright light of Sol. the man rested easy then for a second, felt the motion of the wind, felt the moving of the ice, breathed heavy and deep and felt, even now, so far from home, that the traveler was linked to him, watching over him. he sighed into his helmet, the result was a gravelly sound barely audible over the wind. Looking up he saw the many Ice spikes hanging onto the steely tower of Gate V. He had heard of this place, few who ever went into the deep parts ever returned, the people of the golden age had known too much and worked with such subtlety, that now, few could fully understand or navigate a complex of this size. the Warlock looked back at the sun, Sol. he switched his radio on. his voice was deep and full of grit. ‘I made it, Gate five’ a womans voice responded back ‘you going in?’ the Warlock grunted ‘Just taking a minute to look at the sun one last time’ ‘good luck Ystrad’ she said and clicked the radio off. ‘there is no such thing’ he said to himself. he stood for a moment longer, his pale cloak caught in the wind, the sunlight bouncing off his white helm. IO, Jupiter, Sol and Europa were all in his field of vision, like a cosmic still life, the light of the sun made the surface of Europa a blinding mirror. the Warlock, Ystrad, turned then and looked at the dark hanger door that lead inside Gate V, its entrance encrusted with crystalline ice, a stale wind blew from the dark opening, his sensors picked up a high quantity of base metals and uncommon elements. He felt a huge weight hanging above this place, A dark and stale death. He un-holstered one of his pistols and walked silently and surely into the hanger doorway and left the light of the galaxy behind. Strange shadows formed and shifted. ................................................................................................. This first part isn't necessarily representative of the whole story as It has almost no character interaction (which is the stories focus.) and uses more purple prose than the other parts also.

Great Stuff, really enjoyable reading! The characters are well defined, I like the short cuts in narrative as well. As Old Mali said previously, could do with some proof-reading.

Wow, this is really very good. The imagery you've created is very clear and consistent, and the characters are as well defined as you could make them in such a short piece. I'm a fan of your character dialogue most of all; a lot of fanfic tends to be padded with a lot of cliché, but you managed to keep everything very natural and realistic. My only suggestion is that this could benefit greatly from a proof-read. I'm kind of surprised nobody else has commented on this yet. Where can I read more?