50 shaders of grey

There I was on a lonely Saturday night chilling at the tower, watching all the cool kids buying questionable items from a shady man in the corner named Xür. I glanced up from my inventory and my eyes locked with a young 23 awoken female. Her eyes were the prettiest shade of blue that complimented her soft blue complexion, her hair, purple pig tails that instantly made me feel like she was legendary. Keen to break the ice with my new ice breaker I approached her with full confidence. I wanted her to know I was a serious guy and that I had a strong willingness for her to join me in a 3 way fire party with my best mate. I strolled up, pointed at her and began to dance. I could tell she was overcome by my directness and that was what she wanted. She danced back with me and instantly we hit it off. I was a few drinks in by now, maybe 7 or 8 bourbons after a hard day on the cosmodrome acting as a gofer and errand boy for a bunch of people I have never met. Something was enchanting about the way this warlock danced like she had some sort of spell on me but in the back of my mind something wasn't right. Maybe it was the fact her name was Peter4u_1991. I reminded myself that Peter could also be a girls name so I eased up and invited her to a date under the starry skies on the moon. I can't quite remember what happened later in the evening but I think I pulled out my Venus and we played on that for a few hours. At one stage I think I reached over for the Axiomatic anal beads. I drank more and more and awoken this morning with her gone and not even as little as a friend request in my messages. I was feeling a bit sore beneath my armour so I headed down to the plaza for a quick check up. So I took some test before the cryptarch Master Rahool decoded the results to me. I have a Vexually transmitted disease! I have encountered a sever case of Harpies. Turns out peter4u_1991 gets around a lot. She even spent 3 days in a locked vault with 5 other guys and they all came out covered in white stuff. Needless to say I'm off to see Xür to buy some better protection,