Tragedy

Sit down, my brothers and sisters, for I have a story to tell. There once was a melon, a sinister little melon, but a happy melon. But then, that melon dabbled in the dangerous, dark and evil arts of our sworn enemies, the VEGETABLES. They mutilated our melon, defiled it!! They did not stop until there was NOTHING left!, until our poor little melon brother was an empty husk of his former self. And so, the melon roamed the wilds after he had been given his freedom by our enemies out of sheer malice and spite. But evil had not unbidden its harsh toll upon our melon yet, for he stumbled on an evil far darker than any mere common fruit could possibly conceive. Our melon stumbled upon the SALT! Like a dead leaf, our melon withered away, for the salt was too strong, thus ending his young and prosperous life. I say ye, brothers and sisters, do not accuse me of blasphemy, for you know this to be true. Repent upon our almighty overlords friend, Rhabby_V! Then, and only then, will we be able to deliver justice to our melon and claim vengeance upon the veggies and the sodium machine! But alas, Rhabby was not always the living embodiment of salt. He was once pepper and once had a love. A Hawkmoon. But ever since he slaughtered his one love out of pure rage and salt, he has been taking it out on our almighty overlord, BlueWestlo (Oh, and Christian...). We must not let this be! We must avenge the dead and the suffering. We must punish Rhabby_V!