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Team KK

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originally posted in:Team KK
11/12/2019 10:03:49 PM
0

Be careful.

If you join this group and form friendships, then have a mental breakdown, you won't just be dropped like a rock, you will be hurled so hard that you lose almost all sense of self worth. You grow to trust people when you spend enough time with them, it's only natural. As I've learned from ex-relationships and ex-friendships, growing close to people can have consequences. All of this happened shortly after losing the first love of my life. A long term relationship that I invested my heart and soul into had turned to nothing. So as you might imagine, I was in a very dark place for a while there before I went fully manic and delusional. A lot of misunderstanding and especially a lot of wrong doing could have been avoided if some of the people in this group who used to call me their "friend" would have simply reached out to me. I needed help, not abandonment. So instead of finding help, I spiraled deep into a pit of manic depression. Filled with delusions of grandeur, new and racing thoughts, and enough energy for a run around the world, I ended up committing numerous crimes around Arizona, all the while I thought everyone on the planet knew everything that was going through my head at all times. My delusions started to grow to the point where I thought I was king of the world and invincible. I almost went to prison doing things I thought were now ok for me to do. In my right mind, I now embarrass myself telling this story. I've told it so many times though, that it's becoming much less painful to discuss. Looking back at it, it was a scary place to be in. I would never wish bipolar disorder or depression, manic or not, on anyone. I almost killed myself a couple times, both on accident acting a fool while manic and on purpose after it all due to being filled with guilt and regret for every wrong doing I committed while out of my mind. If you've never experienced depression of any kind, it feels like sitting in the core of a black hole that's sucking up all of your light, and your have to slowly claw your way out to find light and happiness again. Going manic is a challenge all on it's own. Doing it alone with no one understanding you is even harder. Google manic depression and you will see what I mean. I'm not writing this to gain any pity, I'm sure as hell not trying to re-join a group of people who abandon their friends in times of need. I will be leaving the group after I post this. I'm writing this for one definitive reason: People please be weary who you trust yourself to. Don't just be friends with everyone. Especially don't trust your emotions to everyone. Letting people in too far gives them the ability to hurt you. Always remember that. If you think you need help, don't hesitate, search for your local guidance clinic and schedule an appointment today. Should thoughts of suicide surface, also don't be shy to call the suicide hotline @ 1-800-273-8255 or go online to chat with someone @ https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

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